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Submitted by Maria (Nov 08, 2005)

cool story John

I enjoyed your story. It is well written with only a few grammatical errors, but I am used to reading stories with grammatical errors and I just correct them in my mind as I read. I think you tell the story well. I really don't have alot of experience with ghost stories, so I can't really say much about how you set up the village and such, but The setting felt well made and believable. I would say that certain elements became predictable(Tom being a ghost was kind of obvious from early on and once you realize that, Daniel being a ghost follows naturally). I will say that Daniel's role in the story does not seem obvious until you read the old woman's story. Even though the story has predictable elements, a key element remained the whole time for me and that was I was able to place myself in the story and enjoy it even when I knew what was coming. I hope these comments are helpful.