Comments to Lord of Light and Shadows : The Gathering of the Five by Jude Darfoor
Submitted by Anonymous (Jun 30, 2007)When will you add the rest of the story? I enjoyed reading the first part of your wonderful story. Thanks.
Submitted by Dave (Jun 24, 2007)I agree wiht other comment. A whole bunch of other stories seem to come to mind when I reda this. "Eragon" for example (because of the dragon host) and the book "Dawn" (i think) because of the shadowhunters and the black figures on black horses (the illusionists?) remind me of teh myrdraal in THe Wheel of Time. Pretty good story though. More descriptions needed though (too much seems to happen in too little pages).
Submitted by Anonymous (Oct 19, 2006)I like the over all feel of the story itself but I think it needed more elaboration throughout, for example "What the Emperor was keeping back from the council was that his mages had read the timelines into the future and had seen the death and rebirth of the Empire. A guard announced the arrival of Second Sword." This could be expanded to give the reader more background or give less and elude to bits throughout the story.
One thing you really need to do is write with your senses. You have 5 and throughout you only wrote about what you saw. The reader really needs to be able to feel, taste, touch, smell and see your story.
Can't wait to read more.
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