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Submitted by Scott (Apr 10, 2010)

I liked the concept a lot. You have a great sense of humour. (That's Canadian, correct, spelling.) One thing: don't confuse "there" and "their" and "they're," as in when you write "they have to eat breakfast and lunch and supper when they're here." There were a couple of other places, too. One more thing: Could you add a bit to the conclusion? Like how the pastor felt about his church? Or the self-righteous lady who spread the rumour (again, correct Canadian spelling) about the fire being started because the other lady had been nipping into the communion wine? Then you'd have a chance for some real irony. And I'm glad the kid got laid. But you know, you have an opportunity here to really say something about the popular girl (sorry, I would have to go back to check her name and that would probably mean I'd lose all that I just typed) and what she thought of Pornucopia and the boy who started the whole thing. Just some thoughts. Of course, you're the writer. Nice style, though.