My Irish Gilfriend by Eric Butler

My girlfriend is very beautiful
Long red hair
The cutest smile
Being with her has been wonderful

If there's one thing or two
That would make me complain
I'd have to say first off
That she's a little insane
She beats up my friends
Who are guys by the way
When she's had too much Guiness
And this happens every day

Another thing I guess
Is when we're in the bedroom together
She makes me call her ma'm
When her name is actually Heather

She tells me she loves me
And that one day we'll get hitched
Then she calls me a weakling
And a scrawny yankee bitch

She dresses real pretty
And takes pride in what she wears
But she aslo spits, ar wrestles, and constantly swears

We go out to dinner
And she's happy wherever she goes
But then she calls the waiter and idiot
For not having meat with a side of potatoes

She smokes more than I do
And enjoys hard whiskey
Every time I play her darts
She tells the entire pub that I'm a big sissy

I guess that's about it
Other than that it's been a blast
If she heard the things I was saying
She would definitely kick my ass

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