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Not Anymore by Morgan Le Fay


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~Not Anymore~

If you touch me I will bleed. One stroke and you will get to witness the frailty. Yes, I am not well. Survey the sickness take effect. I am drowning in bile yet again. And you don’t know how to cope; you don’t know how to deal. Let me tell you how to manage this just give my throat a few moments to heal. The dried vomit on my hands and the acid that’s stripped these vocal cords. I want to tell you that I still love you but I won’t choke out the words. And these pieces of me that I have cut apart. You’re placing them together. But the jagged edges are too sharp and are keeping me from getting better. What will you do when you realize that there’s no fixing me? What will you do with this loss cause? Can you forgive the scars? Can you neglect the wound? Or will you walk out on this flaw? I wouldn’t blame you at all; no I wouldn’t blame you at all.

~And the tears no longer come. Just the vomit and the blood. And every time I gaze at my reflection it is her I cannot ignore. So I choose to bleed so that I may no longer breathe anymore, I won’t breathe anymore. No, not anymore.

I want a cure. I’d like a prescripted smile. A pill I can pop but I doubt the side effects are mild. Keep the veil of innocence. Yes, it hurts to fake another grin. So many lies I unravel just to maintain “thin”. Hide the meal. Spit in the napkin. Scrape it in the trash. Wash it down the drain. Here are the dirty dishes in case if someone asks.

~ And the tears no longer come. Just the vomit and the blood. And every time I gaze at my reflection it is her I cannot ignore. So I choose to bleed so that I may no longer breathe anymore, I won’t breathe anymore. No, not anymore.

I know I’m hurting you. I know the damage disappoints. Gaze upon these bones. Notice how simple to try and snap these joints. My hair is falling out and I am completely shattered. The tiny shards of me so insignificant, they barely seem to matter.

~ And the tears no longer come. Just the vomit and the blood. And every time I gaze at my reflection it is her I cannot ignore. So I choose to bleed so that I may no longer breathe anymore, I won’t breathe anymore. No, not anymore.