Brown eyes... by Zaara Haroon


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Brown eyes…


She saw the sunlight filtering through her messy hair

Poised as sharp knives to prick gruesomely into her cornea

Brown eyes…as they were…

She saw her reflection in them.

She appeared small, condensed, miniature, a featured singularity

There was something in them…

Which she was lacking

Which she was doubting.

Adamant on what she was a year back,

She felt a breeze which made the fibre fall over her sight.

Brown eyes…as they were…

Complimented and described as the honey which smiles

Complimented without compulsion

Complimented without malice

Complimented with sheer ignorance of what was hidden beneath the surface…



She saw the sunlight changing moons,

Moonlight on her body

Filtering through the painted window beside her white bed sheet

Piercing…looking through her eyes once again

The sound of a heart throb as she felt the wind showing signs of victory

The curtains moved, shivered…

Suggesting there was somebody behind them

How she wished there was that somebody…that breath…that touch…that voice…

Her brown eyes almost misted with that blankness which she painted in the daytime…

Sitting under the sun

With sunlight filtering through her hair

Trying to peep into her senses

No doubt…

She was in love…

Helplessly in love…



She smelt her lover as she lowered her head

Close to her arms

She hid herself

She felt his fingers through her own…

His tempestuous gaze which made her uncomfortably warm

His presence…

Around her…

She walked on water and drowned in the concrete

Lay down on her back again to give way to the sun

To give way to his attempts to make her his.

And with that came a turn, she turned to her side…

The moon had come over again…another day went by,

Lying on her back, she saw the planets sigh,

She saw the planets collide.



She was chapped when she saw herself in the mirror next

Heard hollow echoes when she called out her name

Empty walls with red bricks

Chalk sticks on pavements and on wet grass

Teacups of mercury…

She smelt new leaves.

She wanted the times back…

Wanted to relive her memories…wanted the nightmare to come to life.

She then found a camera

Started to click here and there

Tried clicking with her self…

She portrayed herself as the never-ending aura

Needing no waste,

No taste,

No inhalation,

No touch,

No love.

She saw her picture, saw her very own brown eyes

But she found them unsmiling now…

Her lashes down at happiness and glory,

Bright red at tears,

Flooding them with expression, communication.

Tears of resentment, tears of anger,

Tears of hatred and of a slow winding staircase

She was dying…not as a whole,

But in parts.

She had lost her heart, now she was losing her head

She tasted her salty eyes, heard the rustle through her messy hair,

Senselessly insensitive, incapable of vision as she had become.



There she sat up.

Her eyes fell a briny dew.

She saw herself again…not on the camera,

But still in her dilemma,

She saw herself in her fresh tear.

She saw how pretty her eyes were…how lightly they had been touched with the brown brush of her creator

How sharply they were shaped with a light coffee velvet inside them,

Like a dry leaf dancing its last dance of autumn,

To perch like a butterfly in bliss…

Bathed in colour, she took in the smoke, felt her stare.

She looked up at the protesting moon,

And saw herself somewhere there.



Venus…she was.

The goddess of love, the love which she had for herself

She heard her hand light up a twig

Moonlight on her torso,

She burned in her light.

Got up now, noticed her height.

She saw herself in her own light.

The sun and the moon,

She had been witnessing a fight.

She looked down as she saw her toes

She wasn't on grass,

She wasn't on fire.

She was standing there. Next to you

On the barkhan of time

Pushing her feet against the sand which couldn't be stamped at.

It had been a waste to stay up for nights.



She saw her reflection somewhere next to you

Lifted her leg

She felt the breeze through her matted hair.

A new life turning green

A new worm unfurling,

A droplet of water clutching still at her eyelash,

She breathed,

She smiled.

Closed her eyes as she felt her brows relax.

It had been a long night.



And as he walked with the stars overhead,

She longed to have the sight of what she had just forgone.

She saw the sand and a trail of footsteps

She didn't know who's to follow,

So she created her own.

She is walking now, intending to be seen…to be heard.

With a tattoo at her collar bone…

I guess she is now free.