With your hand in mine, the horizon in sight.
If you can’t be with me I think I might cry.
Or laugh a little outside while my feelings do die.
We run out to the sunlight and I see the truth.
And right there my heart falls from the sky through the roof.
I see you stand in his arms and sink in despair.
What did I do to deserve this, apart from just care?
Why can’t my soul ask me to just carry on?
I guess a part of me thinks you haven’t gone.
So I sit here waiting under the oak tree.
There’s no other place in which I can be free.
As the years roll by and I wonder “how long?”
Can’t I just accept it that I may be wrong?
That little voice cries out from the back of my head.
“If you just had faith in the words that you said”
If I said that I loved you would you prove me right?
If these years were in vain, I’d go down in the fight.
Or do I declare my love alone by the beck?
Just to stand, not a man, but a quivering wreck.
So am I to stand here with a knife in my hand?
Or do I guide this boat to safety on land?
My body is wracked by the guilt and the storm.
Like the devil has left me with only my form.
So I stand on the prow and I show my bare soul.
There’s a gaping piece missing where I should be whole.
And I cry out with laughter and prepare for the wave.
Reach the crest while convinced that I cannot be saved.
My very heart cries with hunger, my mind is enraged.
The feelings inside me have left me quite caged.
And I wish that I’d not become quite so estranged,
With the love that I’d never had nor ever changed.
So if I’d asked for my one chance would you have said yes?
Though I asked on the day you donned your wedding dress?
This feeling won’t let me escape for all time.
The fact that I loved you, my one, only crime.
Perhaps now’s the time for me just to let go?
Though a part of me says that I simply must know.
This cruel fascination that’s haunting my mind,
With these rhymes I do give you my thoughts underlined.
…Admittance of ones very being…