A 30-something's lament. by Kirstin Wright

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Where is my manly man?
I've looked ever so hard
I've joined three clubs and looked in bars
I've made a business card

Oh where can he possibly be?
That antidote to save
That panacea to warm my bed
And be my willing slave?

Who shall I tickle when bored?
Who shall I thump with my pillow?
Who shall I take to the Orkney Islands
To dance in "Strip the Willow"?

I've placed the Auspicious precisely
And brushed my hair oh so nicely
The Feng and the Shui and the Yin and the Yang and the smell of good food in my Frying Pan, none of this WORKS! Ding darn dang.
Where is my manly man?