Untitled~ A stream of consciousness piece by Tiffany Little

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i sat and i cried for ages and ages. i cant understand. i threw it all away. everything away. I cant bear to look at it .at you. i hate you for what you've done to me. but i cant hate you at all. this is so unfair. i cried again but it didnt help. i cant heal. then you go and rub fresh salt into the wounds. open it all up again. sore and bleeding. my lonely heart. i punched the chair but it didnt help. i screamed. for mercy but you never showed any, anyway. you tore me to pieces. why did you do this. stop hugging me. dont say goodbye. but dont say see you later. i know you're lying. you hate me. was i that bad. i didnt mean it. cant we try again. why not. why the fuck not. leave me alone you selfish git. actually come back i need it. no i cant stand the sight of you. nor the sound. i dont want to call again. look can i just have it. i knew it was over because you brought back all my stuff. we are going to be friends arent we? i know him better than you. sloppy second. ive been there before. you are welcome to him. oh god what do i do. where do i begin. i didnt realise how much i depended on you till you went away. come back im not finished with you. he thinks it is a mutual thing. oh my god we are so sorry. i hate sympathy. all that i despised in her i have become. i promised i would never do this. you know i can never see us breaking up. me neither. we didnt see it coming. it came along anway. a moving train that crushed me underneath. stop this pain. a deep ache in my heart. its a heart ache. hits you when its gone. all those songs remind me of you. too late for me and you. poetry my exorcism. i miss you. it played when it happened. but it didnt i turned it off before it could begin. whistling button hole tunes to make me cry. language is leaving. thats how much i hurt. i cant make you go away. your picture laughs at me. yet not so long ago it was laughing with me. i dont want to have to do this all again before i go to uni. so you will do it to her? did i mean more to you. a month ago you said you loved me. im over you. but im not really. otherwise why would i check i look alright. why do i laugh at every little thing he says. just that extra bit louder. am i on the rebound. he doesnt want me either. what am i supposed to do. get back in the game. ah ha ha. yes i will. invite neil. he looks good in a tux. come see the scan. i thankyou for cheering me up. but you didnt really, because later i cried again. all night. i didnt sleep. i cried and thought of you.i tossed and turned. writhing in agony. the boy who blocked his own shot. u