Yes Your Bum is BIG! by Tari Xalyr

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SUMMARY: Our drama troupe became famous throughout our school for this play written by myself and a few friends. . . . all who wrote performed. . . .about eight of us if i recall correctly. . . .the piece used Poor Theatre and Epic theatre to display the views on

Lights up

Sound cue - Track 1 - Techno music (loud)

(Music begins and lights come up. Models walk down catwalk. One model left the other right. DESIGNER enters with slightly different clothing.)

Fade sound cue one as DESIGNER begins speech

DESIGNER: I am the worlds fashion designer. I decide everything. What looks fashionable and what you need to look beautiful. I control all! Today fashion show. Tomorrow world domination!!! (Evil laugh)

(DESIGNER poses and models copy her. DESIGNER walks off along catwalk and trips, the models do the same. She poses again and models copy then DESIGNER leaves. JULIE runs out and honks!, models Honk! And run off after JULIE.

Girls enter examining themselves in the mirror)

EMMA: Would you guys check out my bum! It's enormous, I have the hugest ass in the world. It's like ultra super sized!

MEL: No way! You've got nothing to worry about. Look at mine! It's the mammoth bum!

BEC: Sorry but my bum is bigger than yours.

(All girls argue about their bum sizes.)

NIC: Will you guys shut up!! You look fine. There is nothing wrong with you I'm the one with the biggest bum. It's bigger than all of yours put together. Look.

(NIC sticks her small bum out. The others look in disbelief.)

EMMA: Girl your bum could not get any tighter.

NIC: What ever you reckon.

(Girls return to eyeing themselves in the mirror)

KIM: Look at my thighs! They're huge!

BEC: What are you talking about they're fine!

KIM: Are you serious? Look at them, they bulge out and wobble when I walk. Watch this. (knocks knees and makes wobbling sound)

KATE: You think your thighs are huge, they're nothing compared to the size of my pores. Look at this zits!

JULIE: You've got bugger all and they'll clear up unlike my horrible crooked nose. I look like a witch!

MEL: Guys. I don't like this mirror it makes me look all curvy.

EMMA: It's a normal mirror.

MEL: Do I really look like this? I'm hideous! I'm ugly!

BEC: No, no. curves are hot.

EMMA: Yeah no guys wants a girl with no bum or boobs.

NIC: Gee thanks. What am I supposed to do then?

KIM: I'm never eating food again!

EMMA: How much doe sit cost to join Weight Watchers?

KATE: I need a plastic surgeon.

JULIE: I need a nose job.

KIM: Maybe if I do this. (pushes breasts up and together) I'll get more cleavage?

(Girls in their own world, keep talking about their insufficiencies, DESIGNER enters and they freeze.)

DESIGNER: How are going to keep up with changing image that I decide on? If you don't have what it takes, you're worth nothing because what's on the inside doesn't count.

(Girl with the following assets step forward when DESIGNER mentions. When she changes the fashion they step back into the line again.)

DESIGNER: I decide that you have to be tall and thin . . . . . . . . . . .not that tall! . . . . . . . With short hair. . . . . . . . . No long hair. . . . . . . . Green eyes . . . . . . . . . .Blonde hair, no brown, no red! . . . . . .a flat chest. Ha just kidding big boobs! As if. You all look ridiculous.

(DESIGNER exits. GIRLS go back to eyeing insufficiencies.

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