I'll have a Love to go, please by Guadalupe Gonzales


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SUMMARY: After many battles and defeats, is it possible to cast ones' emotions and feelings to the wind.

The next day:

Foolish old heart, what have you done? Did you think that love had at last arrived for you? Where is your prince now, or was it just a dream? Did you not meet him last night? Did you not pay for the powder that he smoked and for the time that he was with you? How then did you mistake it for love?

At night:

I must go and see for myself there where I left him and where he said that he would be. I search the darkness of the streets there where the addicts, the pushers, and the homeless are gathered. As I drive thru, they brush up against the windows of my car for I have ventured into their appointed area. It is hard to see now, but amongst the movement of silouettes, I can see my ebony warrior. It is him and my heart leaps for joy when he recognizes me. I stop and he enters. Again the same ritual. Drop me here, drive around the block, then pick me up. But tonight I have lost him. I cannot distinguish him from the other silouettes that are traversing the area. Shadows now waving and beckoning to me, but I want only my ebony warrior and search him out nervously. Anxious moments become hours, and I am weary because I cannot find him. How could I have missed him? Was it not the same last night, however, then he was there, waiting for me. My mind begins to tax me with disturbing thoughts. Did he plan it this way?

Next day:

My day off today and again I go to search him out where he said he would be. I cruise for a while and it is not long before I catch a glimpse of him. It is the first time that I see my ebony prince in day light. A radiant warrior amongst the other traders. But what is this, my sun is accompanied by a moon, his moon? I had already noticed a pause between them when words and glances were exchanged. He became aware of me and made it appear as if, it had been people exchanging pleasantries when passing each other in the streets. It was so subtle I could not tell either way. My faint look now cries out to him, but he acts coy and turns his glance away from me. When I pass him by, I look into the side mirror and notice that he has lifted his vision to see as I drive by. I must speak to him I think to myself, for how can I interpret doubtful thoughts into real words. I continue to seek him out, trying to get him by himself. I stop at a corner store and lo, there he is. He is not alone. I drive by and when he turns to me I motion him to come to the car. He looks at me as if he doesn't know me. As I wave to him again, there is movement from those around him. One of them comes to the car, but I motion him off and point to my ebony prince who continues to look at me with a blank stare and cold indifference. I motion to him again and he finally lifts his hand as if to say to go further up the street. I stop the car and my body begins to tremble in expectation of seeing him again. But he does not come. Return to your empty nest, old foolish wretch. Let him not see your battered heart anymore. How will I forget? Was it not two nights ago when my prince made my empty nest feel like a palace, and me, his queen? Did not my heart swoon also when I tasted of the nectar of my ebony warrior? Sad foolish heart, come away from there. His amenities are bought and sold. Go, and forget this, while your novelty is still in season, for it will not be long, before the drought strikes again. Then how, will you survive it?

Tonight:

Í'll have a Love to go, please.

Tomorrow: ?