(Page 1 of 5) Kenny G Must Die!!! by William HrdinaSUMMARY: The title speaks for itself. A comic horror story. For an audio version of this story go to www.williamhrdina.comKenny G Must Die!!
William Hrdina
The Ritual
"Are you sure this is the only way?" Emma asked, watching Aliester as he made the preparations for the Great Work.
"You tell me." He responded, taking items out of a large duffel bag and lining them up on the ground next to him. "If you can think of a better way to get rid of that cockroach I'd sure like to hear it."
For the one hundredth time Emma racked her brain trying to think of another solution- but no other plan occurred to her. Reluctantly, Emma nodded her head. She might not agree with Aliester's methods- but the mission itself was certainly worthwhile.
Emma turned and headed back to the truck to get the goat.
Aliester took a long look around the cemetery before returning to his work. The night was warm and the moon was full- allowing him enough light to see very well- at least by the standards of 3 o'clock in the morning. Except for Emma's silhouette in the darkness, he saw no movement, no sign that there was anyone around to interrupt the dangerous and complicated ritual they were about to perform.
Aliester bent down and picked up the bottle of chalk from among the myriad ingredients he'd brought from the car. He carefully began making a pentagram by pouring the chalk onto the nicely manicured grass in front of the gravestone that was to be the center of his working. The name on the gravestone was familiar to anyone who knew anything about Jazz.
John Coltrane
9/23/1926 - 7/17/1967
Aliester worked quickly. He was an experienced magician and he'd been studying in preparation for the rite for over six months. Every syllable of the ritual was committed to memory, every gesture so practiced he could do them in his sleep. Even so, he felt the butterflies in his stomach take flight as he started his work.
Resurrection spells were never easy, not even under the most mundane of circumstances. After finishing the pentagram, Aliester put different items at each of the five points of the star- a small baggie of heroin, a slice of pepperoni pizza from Coltane's favorite pizza place in the Village in New York, a reed from a saxophone played by a virgin on the summer solstice, an unwashed pair of women's panties, and a cocktail napkin from the jazz club TheVanguard. In the center of the pentagram Aliester placed the most difficult item to find- a soprano sax that Coltrane himself played 45 years earlier.
With all the ritual items in place, Aliester stood again and began the first of what would be nearly fifteen minutes of chanting and invocation. Emma returned in the midst of Aliester's chanting, leading the goat by a length of rope. She didn't interrupt him to tell him the beast had taken a rather grotesquely large dump in the back of the truck.
As far as Emma was concerned, it was only fair. After all, they were going to take its life- and being that this whole thing was Aliester's idea- she wasn't about to clean his karma-induced goat shit.
As Aliester's recitation continued, the sky began to fill with furiously churning storm clouds.
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