the nobody by Kelly Mitchell

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SUMMARY: invisible cyberspace Texan harrasses unexpected visitor. Comedy.

nSeeker meets the nobody
nobody pool and beer

nSeeker looked around. "Where are you?"
It was complete blankness, except for the boot. He turned to the doorway, which zipped away the moment he saw it, turning to a dot in the distance, then disappearing altogether. It was not dark, exactly. There was simply nothing to see.
Except for the boot.
"Who said that?"
No answer. nSeeker was comfortable with the blankness. He liked it, in fact. He had a featureless memory of the suspended state where his mind had been for a very long time. Entropy, with no idea of time. He knew he could just lie down and drop into that state in this place. It would be easy. He could dissolve away here, put himself into midnight. He lay down, closed his eyes.

Water splashed on his face. He woke up, spluttering, and turned his head to the side. A boot, the boot. Someone was wearing it now, 2 of them standing on his chest, and urinating on his face.
"Wake up, sleepyhead!" It was a thick East Texas twang.
Jesus Christ seemed like the best thing to say. He should shout it. He did.
"No, just me. The nobody." It was only the boots, moving as if someone was wearing them.
"Are you invisible?"
"What do you think?"
"I can't see you."
One of the boots kicked him in the face. "Can you feel me?"
"Yes." It didn't hurt.


There was a rainbow shimmer, faintly flickering in the blankness. He only saw it in his peripheral vision. Even after all he had been through, this rainbow shimmer was the first thing that made him truly afraid, not just instants of panic. His last memory was of death, and he had lain in the entropy in wordless contemplation of it afterwards. He had made peace with all ideas of death.
But this thing was not death.
"What is that?"
"Don't you worry about that." A hand came from nowhere, and slapped him. "Stop thinking about it. Now." The slap made a noise, but he hardly felt anything at all, just a soft whooshing through his head.
He grabbed one of the boots and twisted hard to the side, forcing the nobody down. nSeeker heard a loud cracking, and saw a pool of blood rush out from where the nobody's nose should have been.
-Ow. You broke my nose, the nobody said. That's it, pardner. You're in for it, now.
The boots leapt up. There was a bloody chin and mouth, two bloody nostrils, and a copious amount on an otherwise invisible shirt. A boot kicked him squarely in the crotch where he lay. He flew away painlessly, the boots disappearing, a dot in the distance.

nSeeker remained laying where he landed, ready to drop into the beyond state, into the blankness. He wondered if he did so out of fear of what was behind the rainbow mask. Was it :3:?... wildcard?...Juniper returned somehow?...a new creation?
The boots squatted beside him.
-Sorry about that, pardner. I just go off a little half-cocked sometimes. I don't mean nothing by it.
Hey, what say we have us a drink.
They were sitting on barstools in the blankness.
-Two brewskis, barkeep. A noise of two beers opened, then placed on the bar in rapid succession.

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