Alas! For I have perpetrated and carried through a despicable act for which no one, no one! I say, except perhaps the Almighty God above, with his infinite mercy, can forgive. Yet, perhaps there is no chance for atonement or forgiveness, for I feel no remorse for the act itself, only for my current plight which is a direct result of my treacherous and deadly act. My plight is of a common criminal awaiting an appointment with the executioner. As I wait for the inevitable, however; I will endeavor to write down this account of the events which have led me to this impending date wit the Grim Reaper, so that you, the reader, may gain an understanding of why I was forced, yes, forced, to perform the sinful act to which I have freely admitted.
Please, accept it when I say that I am not insane, for I am not. I am a well-educated man with an affinity for the arts, music, science and mathematics. Raised of a poor and broken family, yes, but well-educated nonetheless. Growing up under the conditions which I was originally raised, I may have come to the prison I am currently incarcerated sooner, if not for he who became my benefactor, a tall, stately gentleman with soft eyes and a kindly demeanor who befriended my mother mere weeks after my ill-conceived father betrayed my beloved mother and "ran off" with another woman, a female of dubious origins who had little, if any, honor and certainly no virtue of note.
The gentleman who thereafter befriended my mother, a certain Mister Ira Greenbaum, had been a suitor of my mother's before she had met he who was my father and following his treacherous departure, Mister Greenbaum, now a wealthy banker and still a bachelor, asked her permission to once again court her. When she denied him this, her reasoning being that the time was too soon following her betrayal by he-who-was-my father, he requested that he be allowed to assist financially, as he knew, being a banker, that we possessed only a small amount of currency.
My mother consented to this, although reluctantly. To me, the "paltry" sum ge granted us for living expenses was an exorbitant amount, as it was much more than our home's former provider had ever procured from his various, petty attempts at maintaining employment.
Mister Greenbaum continued to ask my mother to allow him to court her and, eventually, she weakened and gave her permission. This did not bother me, as at the time, Mr. Greenbaum seemed kindly and wished only well-being for both my mother and I. He seemed such a grand person, always with a tale to tell and always having time to spend taking my mother and I to various social occasions and events. Eventually, unsurprisingly, he asked my mother if she would join him in matrimony.
My mother told hem she must take time to decide as it was a difficult decision in view of the betrayal by her former husband. Her suitor accepted this answer, but cautioned her that he deeply loved her and intended on marrying her or no one. This revelation made my mother joyful, although at the time, she did not voice her happiness.