Fate, Where is your Victory by Guadalupe Gonzales

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I would sit here for hours at a time looking out into the vastness of the sea, awaiting the first gleamering rays that would fill the sky with light and bring to end the curse of darkness that has since foreshadowed my life. As I strained my eyes to view even further out, I could just barely make out far in the endless distance of the gulf, dark pluming clouds made visible by the sun now situated behind the cottage and shining out to the sea. But all too soon my thoughts would return as to why it had been that I had moved out here. It was to recover from a love affair gone bad.

The only thing that I had succeeded to do however, was acquire a taste for cheap booze. And so it was that I would welcome every new day now, with a fresh bottle of booze. It was not long then before I dozed off again. When I woke it was late afternoon. It was the heat of the day that would wake me up from my stupor, and so I got up to splash my face with cool water. It seemed particularly hot today though, very humid. As I made my way down the hall, I noticed a calender and a red circle on today's date. What's this, I thought, it is my birthday today and I had forgotten all about it. I paused to think of it for a minute, then continued down the hall and caught a glimpse of myself as I passed the mirror. All these years of neglect had made me appear old and haggard. Not so much my face, but my desheveled hair and old worn out robe that I seemed to be forever wearing. What a wreck I had become and began to cry profusely now. I had not cried like this for a long time and buried my head in the pillow and held on to it as if it was the only friend I had. I must have been there for a hour, when suddenly I heard as if a door slam.

I got up slowly and as I approached the window I saw a truck. A truck very similar to the one he drove. My heart began to race and I could feel my knees wabbling beneath me as I tried to see who it was. I stood ever so carefully behind the curtains and I recognized him immediately. My hands were now trembling so that I could no longer hold the curtains. He had parked his truck quite a ways from the cottage and seemed to be looking to see if anyone was in the water. Finding no one there, he turned and started making his way to the cottage. Now I had a full view of him. Sensations of long ago now coarsing through my body. My spirits had been lifted, my mind bringing back the memories, my feelings of love again rejuvenating within me. I could not contain myself. My heart was pounding so, I was sure he could hear it as he made his way to the cottage. He has come for me, I thought, I must run out to greet him, and embrace him, and tell him of the love that I have always held for him. And as I made my way back to the front door, I caught a freightful view in the mirror. I had completely forgotten about the reflection it now casts back to me. And old haggard woman who reeks of booze and neglect.

I cannot let him see me like this and so I stayed hidden from his view. He was now on the porch.

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