Leisure Time by Joe Dees

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We-ell, me an Barney an Frank an Scudder was alla sittin' there drinkin' Falstaff anna smokin' good Mex anna watchin' the tube. Nuthin' elseta do uva Satidee night, ya know, an besides, somea them programs er purty good. We-ell, anyhow, we just plumb ran outta beer. Now when thar ain't nuthin' ta do uva Satidee night, that is, when YOU ain't got nuthin' ta do uva Satidee night, but drink beer, smoke dope, an watch tha tube, that's a pretty major disaster, lemme tellya.
Anyhow, ya know, our place is pretty closeta tha docks, an Barney an Frank an Scudder decided ta go on down ta tha brewery warehouse an lifta coupla cases. I stayed home an watched TV, 'cause in our neighborhood if everbody leaves the place at once, there might not BE no TV ta watch whenya get back. Besides, like I said before, somea them programs wuz pretty good, an onea tha good ones wuz on. I kinda hadda funny feelin' about the whole idea, too. Don't go gettin' tha wrong idea yaSELF, now; I wudn aFRAID er nuthin'. But when that little voice inna backa yer head says, "Hey, fella, this just don't FEEL right", ya learn ta back off, 'cause whenya don't, -cha can get inta some pretty strange situations, lemme tellya.
Anyhow, I promised 'em I wudn smoke morena coupla joints while they wuz gone, us runnin' kinda low, doncha know, and they took off ta tha docks fer tha beer.
We-ell, I'd been thinkin' on sumthin' fera purty long time, in fact, fera WHILE. An what I'd been thinkin on, an what I started thinkin' on then, wuz what we all DO. Yaknow, the guvment's been gettin' purty strong lately, an not many people er havin' much ta say about it, leastwise not that I'D heard. It didn useta be that way, years back. When people didn like sumthin' tha guvment did, they'd up an bitch an moan an get sumthin' DONE about it. We-ell, tha way I sees it, there'sa helluva damn lot ta bitch about these days, but nuthin's gettin' said. So why, huh? We-ell, maybe tha guvment's stoppin' 'em somehow. But howwud they go about doin' that, huh? Then I remembered that I useta speak out now an then maself. What do I do now, instead? Why, I saysta maself, I drink beer an smoke dope an watch TV. Then it hit me. To control tha people, ya gotta control what they do in their leisure time, when they ain't workin' er sleepin' er eatin'. Didja ever notice that just about everbody smokes dope these days? An there always seems ta be enuf around. It's ilLEGAL, leastwise they CALL it illegal, but so's a lotta other things ya cain't always get, but dope's always around. Goes real good with beer, too, an that's legal. An they both seem ta go real well with watchin' TV. The programs change, butcha always git high ta watch 'em. Now, we all git this little satisfaction outta smokin' a joint, like weuz protestin' again, an gettin' over on Unk Sam, like. We-ell, yaknow what hit me? Unk Sam's gettin' over on US, an we don't even realize it. They just program them shows ta appeal ta a stoned audience, yasee, an look tha other way when smoke gets moved in.

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