A Little Knowledge by Michael Bishop

(3 ratings) Rate this Story (5 best) 1 2 3 4 5

SUMMARY: A lesson on how to turn the tables on a genie.

The genie hung there in the air like a giant cloud. "I am going to eat you, mortal," it cried. "Nothing is going to stop me. And don't try the ‘How did such a large genie fit into such a small bottle' trick because it won't work. I am too smart to go back inside for you to recork it. Now, where is the salt and pepper?"
"I would slow down a bit if I was you," I replied. "Have a look around, first."
For a moment, I thought that it was going to lunge at me anyway. However, if as to humour me it continue to hover there and scrutinised the room that we were in. Then, it drifted over to one of the walls. The surface was hard and shiny. The genie stared at it closely then gave it a sharp rap.
"That is glass, isn't it?" it enquired. I nodded in reply.
"Then, I am still in a bottle?"
"Right in one."
At my words, the genie seemed to expand as its face contorted with rage. "You unmentionable creature! Fancy trying to trick me into thinking that I am free after two thousand years. You are not going to live long enough to regret this, your miserable runt. For playing such a dastardly trick on me, I should tear your arms and legs off."
This was not going as expected. It had seemed a brilliant plan when I first conceived the idea of controlling a genie by putting the first bottle inside another one then forcing it to do a deal in return of being freed. Now that I was actually facing one, things were starting to look a different. Instead of being open to reason, it was obviously intent in avenging its incarceration on me. Hardly surprising as I was the only other being present, but still not quite what I had in mind. I tried again.
"And spend another two thousand imprisoned? Calm down. Remember that patience is a virtue. If you are prepared to listen then I can get both of us out of here. If not, then you are going have a lot of free time on your hands!"
The genie picked me up by the scruff of my neck and held me close to its ugly face.
"Listen, very carefully, mortal. For the first thousand years I spent in that bottle, I vowed to offer any one that released me from my glass cage three wishes. Then, during the next thousand I resolved to repay the deed by offering enormous wealth. When that time was over, I swore a pox on all mortals. It was then that I decided to eat my liberator.
"Now you can't use magic to escape from bottles because that's why us genies are put in them. So there must be a door. Doors need keys so you must have a key on you. So, I am going to search you all over for it. And if you make any trouble, the arms and legs come off. Then, when I have found it, I am going to leave you in here long enough to personally teach you a lesson in humility, and everybody else not to fool about with genies. Comprendez?"
I nodded. The genie could search all it wanted, but it was not going to find a key of any description on me. Besides, it looked very serious about the arms and legs bit.
The genie turned me upside down to empty my pockets. Then, it frisked me all over. Fortunately, I am not ticklish otherwise I would have started laughing, That would have probably amused it no end!
When it had finished, it looked at the pile on the ground: penknife, some coins and a few nondescript stones.