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Escaping work by Siva Vg
This bug requires a sorting algorithm"
"Yes good work. So which sorting algorithm are you going to employ?"
‘Idiot! he jumped to conclusion that I was right just because I gave a little technical junk. The problem is like this, the website was slow in loading because I had written a dumb-ass logic, must be because of my TL's influence on me. Assume that there is a big garden full of Roses (say 100,000 roses) and the task given to you is to check each Rose for size, color, fragrance, etc. What would you do? Obvious you would check all the attributes in one flower and move to next flower (because it is not a factory line and you are the only person doing the job). What I am doing here is check one attribute, say size, for all Roses in the field and start all over again for color and so on and so forth. The solution does not require any sorting.'
" If you want an order of n sort we will employ a much simpler bubble sort or if you want order of log n then we can use heap sort"
Obviously my PL knows neither of the two sorts. Even I don't. But I know enough to understand that I myself am talking crap.
"Ok how much time it will take to implement"
"For heap sort twenty four hours, that is three PD (Person Days) and for bubble sixteen hours, two PD and that excludes review from your side"
You got to estimate everything. These PL's will even ask to estimate the amount of shit I produce and if I say one kg in two days they will ask me to do two kg's in one day. They want more in less time no matter what the task is.
"Yes that will take another eight hours and fixing of defect if any eight more hours... hmm... ok as of now do the bubble sort... and make it as quick as possible...Raghu..."
The PL called out for the TL.
"Don't give any more tasks to him for the next four days because he already has enough work on his hands."
"But Pratap... he has to write the Unit test cases and give the estimations for this task... and I am overloaded"
Yes of course God filled his head with clay instead of brains. You give my TL a task to count one to ten in English, he will still say he is overloaded, find some complexity in it, and ask for two more people to complete the task.
"No problem I will stay late every day for the next four days and put in more hours", I said.
I must be divine to offer such things, but I know better.
"No, you fix that bug properly. I don't want that bug to come back again. Raghu you will have to handle the unit test cases it is just document work. The estimate for his task is five PD and you can find out the sub-tasks. I have my meeting with project manager and group head today so you have to take the lead and handle the situation here but don't give anything to him."
"What an asshole?"
I heard Raghu. He stared at me and went back to the cubicle.
And two minutes later I fixed the bug and went out for coffee.
I have been escaping from my duties for a long time now. I have been projecting wrong estimations, making mistakes and pointing fingers, sucking up to my immediate reporting officer's boss, making friends with top management.
I seemed to have learnt a lot in this one year. I think its time I asked my Project manager for a promotion.