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(Page 2 of 2) Goodbyes by Owen JonesA free man walking in a world of infinite glory, or so the romantic told himself. Adios. Bon voyage. Vaya con dios.
Basking in the reflected warmth of the rising sun, half lost in memories, he did not hear her coming.
"Jake? I got your phone call, you sounded a little crazy, I thought you were going to do........ something again."
Her face, backlit to look hauntingly angelic, was a mixture of concern and annoyance, she didn't want to be here dealing with his shit. That, was the point.
"Sorry, it won't take long. I'm leaving."
"This couldn't have waited until later?"
Same old Rachel, straight to the point.
"No, I'm leaving the country – for good."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Sorry but this place was always so perfect, it never changes, we haven't changed and I just wanted to say goodbye properly."
"Oh."
"Mmm"
"Look, I know things haven't been great but I thought we were doing better, my mum has started talking to me again and I was hoping that we could spend more time together. You don't have to go right away, give it a week or two."
The curse of goodbye is that half the time you don't want to say it, the weight of time and shared experience tell you your fine. One right word from a person you take for granted can haul you back in, help you understand that all is well. Sadly it isn't, your coasting and life is slowly running away from you.
"I'm sorry Rach but I can't be here anymore."
"I can change."
"I don't want you to, your fine the way you are."
"But it isn't enough."
"No."
Tears, another chain to hold and bind you.
"I don't want to hurt you Rach ..."
"We're a bit past that don't you think, two f**king years and you don't want to hurt me! Sorry too late asshole."
"Yeah I know, I'm sorry it hurts. I didn't want it to end without seeing you, hoping you'd understand was the only reason I'm not on a plane already."
"Well I don't, ok. I don't get it – what is wrong with your life? What is so bad that you have to be so drastic?"
"Nothing. That's the point. I have a job I can do on auto-pilot, a family who condescend and patronise me even though I did everything they asked of me, and a girlfriend with whom the only conversation I have goes something like:
Are you finished?
Yes.
You were good baby, goodnight.
Yeah."
"I......"
"Exactly, where are my dreams? Huh, where are all the things I wanted to do ten years ago? Gone! More rubbish for the bin of expediency. Well f**k that. f**k this place that never changes. f**k my family and f**k expediency. I didn't come here to shout at you, I came to say thank you for loving me in your way, it meant a lot. And I am really sorry but you must see now why I have to go. There's more to life than this. Take care of yourself. Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
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