Red Jumpsuit by Dan Bieger
 (6 ratings)
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SUMMARY: Entry for "the User Name Flash Fiction contest"This story responds to Radthorne's art and his challenge at
http://www.sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14708&page=36
An anachronism, that's me. Should've been born a century or two ago when men were men and women stayed at home cooking and wiping baby bottoms. Must have been nice.
But, no, here I am in another pristine space station in another star system in the Hereford Eye nebula with another villain and his evil henchpersons scheming their best schemes to do me in. Damn! Henchpersons! Even thinking the term tends to turn my Y genes on edge.
Speaking of which, consider the henchperson before me, decked out in a red jump suit she's ready to jump out of and when she does I want to be there. If I was teaching a course in anatomy, she'd be my first choice for prime example thereof. Damn, damn, damn. All that uncharted woman and no time for exploration.
This villain is definitely second class; he equips his henchwomen with laser pistols, pistols so old they got to wear insulating gloves to keep from frying their hands when they use them. And she seems intent on using hers, doesn't she?
Evidently, the villains in this neck of the galaxy haven't got up to speed or haven't bothered to get their minions up to speed. She fires the gun at me, my defense snaps into place and mirrors the shot right back at her. MNO told me I might get staggered a bit by the impact but a big boy like myself can handle the push. Seems like a terrible waste doesn't it? She may be bad to the bone but her bones look pretty nice from where I'm standing so she can't be all bad. When this mess is over, I'd be willing to take her under my wing to see if she has a nesting instinct.
Oh, well, time to get to it, I guess. MNO says lasers are passé; that magnetics is the wave of the future so here is this handy little gadget, looks like cigarette light, acts like a cigarette light, but is really a miniature monopole looking to mate with whatever metal I point it at. I asked MNO what a cigarette is but she just looked at me kind of funny and didn't bother to explain. Let's see, some metal to attract. Her pistol ought to work.
She fires; my mirror suit reflects. She jumps left, I fire right. Reflection misses her as does my magnetic yank but the latter finds the damned robot yanking it hard in my direction. Not what I had in mind.
She dances back right looking for a place where she can use her laser to advantage. I'm still locked into the hard yank that brings the robot up her backside sending her flying in my direction. I let go the trigger mechanism, the robot's weight drops it in its tracks, but she arrives in my arms on schedule, a little sore from the robot's collision I'm certain, but still alive and kicking...literally.
A tussle or two later, we're on the ground; I'm on top; her laser is somewhere across the room; and the only thing I can think of to say is "we've got to start meeting like this."
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