My prized possession by Guadalupe Gonzales


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I can still recall the very first time I saw you. It was from that moment that we formed this unique relationship, you and I. For no one else could ever be as close to me as you have been. Whenever it was that I was troubled, it was to you that I would come, and you who was always there for me. How we have grown together, you and I, all these years. Never once did I hear you complain, when it was that I would come to you to bear my very soul. Telling you and no one else of my deepest hidden desires, hopes and dreams. Year after year, I would come to you, so selfishly, with my tears of sorrow and misery. Unmercifly burdening you with all of my lifes' failures and frustrations. What worthy reward or honor is there on this earth for a counsel of such lasting faithfulness and forebearance. It is you who has always been there for me. For all others have long since abandoned, or tired of me, and you alone have stood by me and have been with me ever since.


How strange it is today though, as I make my way into the chamber and sit on the chair, this chair which I have always sat on, when it was that I would come to see you. However, it seems different, for there is more light in the chamber today, than I can recall in all my previous visits before. And my eyes also, are dry and clear, not blurred by the swollen tears which have always accompanied me here. I can see you clearly now, and as I study your face I can see the pain and suffering that I have caused you throughout these years.


What have I become, that I have not seen the grievious effect that this has had on you. I never took the time to consider you at all. It seems that I was always looking past and beyond you, wandering away the hours, hoping always that my fondest dreams would come true and that my hopes of a happier future would finally be fulfilled. I can see now that the burden of my pain and anguish has taken a devastating toll on you. Your face so sadden and severly worn. I have wasted away my life to even think that I could ever possibly enjoy the happiness, the kind of happiness that I have seen in others, but that has been, forbidden to me. I know now that it has become a futile endeavor, for I fear that the years have taken their toll and time is now against me and has become my greatest enemy. And if that were not enough, I have also seen the hateful condemning looks, and heard the cruel defaming words of ignorance, not only from strangers, but also from my so-called friends. But throughout all this, I have always been able to count on you, for you have been the release that has somehow kept me going and the strength, that I have needed, to even dare to take on another day.


But I can no longer allow this to go on without allowing you the rest that you so sorely need now. And as I say these words to you, I can see the tears as they well up in your eyes. But these are not the tears of sadness, but tears of joy, for I know your pain even as you know mine. I can think of no other way that could ever be so satisfactory to both of us, for we are as one, and I know that you would do the same for me. And now I know what I must do and so I go to prepare the tea which will be the ticket to a better place, where no one can ever cause the pain and suffering which you have endured now for so very long. A place of rest where you will no longer feel the rejection, see the scornful look or hear the cruel words which has been my, even our, daily staple now for so many years.


My deepest regret in parting is that I'll miss you ever so deeply, you who have been my only confidant, my counselor, my wailing wall, my lifetime companion, my prized possession you .............
my mirror.