(Page 1 of 6) Kenny G Won't Stay Dead by William HrdinaSUMMARY: The sequel to "Kenny G must Die." The second of what has become a trilogy of comic/horror short stories.Kenny G Won't Stay Dead
Part II of the Kenny G Trilogy
William Hrdina
Catch-Up
When last we saw Aliester Crewley, he was sitting smugly behind his desk at work having successfully used a resurrected zombie John Coltrane to attack and destroy Kenny G- the saxophone player famous for playing one note for five minutes who was actually a demon from Hell sent to destroy Jazz.
As icing on the rather macabre cake, Cher was also destroyed in the vortex that exploded from Kenny G's chest after the zombie Coltrane crammed his saxophone down his throat. For Aliester, all was right with the world- a great evil was purged and he wouldn't have to listen to Kenny G's crappy music anymore.
The catalyst for Aliester's actions was the guy who worked in the cubicle next to him at his day job at the insurance company. Although he made his money as a claims adjuster, at night, Aliester was known in occult circles as one of the most accomplished living magickians. By playing Kenny G's "music" day after day, Kyle Abernathy was driving Aliester crazy and taking big chunks out of his aura.
In many ways, Kyle was the yang to Aliester's yin. For Kyle, the day Kenny G died was the worst day of his life. A portly 20-something multiply-born-again Christian whose religious conviction was consistently thwarted by his compulsive use of hookers for foot sex, Kyle found his faith shattered when the Lord allowed his musical hero to die.
On the morning after the news broke, Kyle left work early and didn't return for two days. To Aliester's delight, the office was filled with a blissful silence, nothing but the clacking of keys and the burbling of the constantly running coffee machine. There was none of the horrible "soft jazz" Kyle always played, music generally associated with people without any taste in music- which suited Aliester just fine.
Kyle came in to work on Thursday, but he looked terrible, his face unshaven, his clothes dirty, his hair unwashed, and the boss, Jeff Hannerhan, sent him home again and told him not to come back until he could bring himself to look presentable. Kyle was gone for the rest of the week. Over the weekend Aliester optimistically mentioned to Emma the possibility Kyle wasn't going to come back at all.
"Maybe he got born again, again, and he's spent the past few days in church." Emma considered.
"I believe that would be his ninth time being reborn- if you're right Kyle's been spiritually reincarnated more often than a village full of Buddhists." Aliester laughed.
Across town, in his small apartment, Kyle could hear no laughter. Even though the sun was shining, when Kyle Abernathy looked out the window he saw nothing but washed out colors and overwhelming gloom. He was grateful to have a mission- it took his attention from his overwhelming grief. Still, in spite of his dedicated research, he still found his gaze wandering to where a large, life-size photo of Kenny G hung on the wall, framed in a magnificently over-filigreed faux gold frame.
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