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SUMMARY: The finale of the Kenny G Must Die Trilogy. Cher's back- and she's pissed.

Kenny G Is Dead, But Now There's Cher To Deal With
Part III of the Kenny G Must Die Trilogy
By William Hrdina

I Got You Babe, er Keith Richards

When last we saw Aliester Crewley, he was with his wife Emma. They'd gone to England to get advice from Keith Richards, the legendary guitarist of the Rolling Stones and arguably the most powerful magickian in the world. Aliester had previously dispatched the demon Kenny G with a zombie John Coltrane. But Kenny G was back- his hair greasier than ever- and Alister needed help.
While in counsel with Keith Richards, Kenny G showed up unexpectedly. To Aliester's amazement Kenny G was easily dispatched by Keith- who shrunk him down, rolled him up, and smoked him in one long drag before snorting the ashes up his nose. Amazed, Aliester praised the remarkable way Keith dispatched the demon. Keith denied the greatness of his act, but finished by saying,
"I just hope the rumor I heard about Cher getting sucked into that vortex (the one that initially killed Kenny G) wasn't true- now that would've really been some trouble."
Aliester exchanged a worried look with his wife, Emma. Cher had indeed been sucked into the vortex.
"What's the big deal about Cher?"
Keith Richards took out a cigarette, lit it, and took a long drag before responding. "Well, as long as she's on this plane of existence Cher is only a minor demon. Unlike Kenny G, she actually has some talent. She's a good singer- she just likes really shitty music and therefore makes it. Under normal circumstances, she's powerful enough to gather fame and fortune around her- but no more. However, she's a Castorini demon- their power is linked to the plane they're on. If she goes somewhere else- Cher could have the power of a god. Now, if she were able to come back here now and bring that power with her- well, then I don't know how vast her powers could become. Theoretically, she could tear the earth in half."
"Shit." Aliester said.
"Shit's right." Keith agreed.
"So how could she get back?" Emma asked.
"Then it's true?" Keith asked- the cherry on his cigarette lighting up like Rudolph's nose.
"Afraid it is." Emma confirmed.
"Bullocks." Keith groaned.
Back in America, in the apartment of Kyle Abernathy- (the very Kenny G aficionado who started this great train rolling by playing his horrible music everyday at Kyle's job) there was a whispering sound. There was no one to listen because the only creature in the room was Kyle, and he was dead- killed by Kenny G for his blood- his tasty, yummy blood.
There was no one to hear the soft whispering of a voice singing, "If I could turn back time" over and over and over and over again. No one was around to see the air begin to ripple. No eyes present to see the fabric of reality poke open or to see the emergence of Cher back into the world- her eyes dancing with fire. She looked around. There was no applause. She wanted some.
Spotting Kyle's dead body laying on the floor, she pointed a wispy finger and commanded, "Rise."
Kyle jerked once on the ground and then opened his eyes.