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(Page 2 of 5) Chapters Of A Portrait by Richard Ridyard
 (35 ratings)
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He nods occasionally
and inspects the apartment as the ‘tour' continues.
GEORGE
No morals. I think that's the
best way to approach the mating
game. There's no point trying to
outfox ‘em. They'll have you on
every front when you're being
sincere. And they can sense fear
the same way sharks smell blood
in the water. Mark my words - be
ruthless. Then you always get what you're
after. All's fair in love and -
PAYNE
(Very seriously)
I've found a sense of humour
helps.
This stops George in his tracks.
GEORGE
Yeah. I've heard that too.
He takes a breath and moves on. They wander down a small
corridor, at the end of which are two doors.
GEORGE
And while we're on the subject of
the fairer sex, may I present to
you...
(Opening one door)
The master bedroom.
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
The bedroom, in sharp contrast to the part of the apartment
we've just seen, is generously furnished. Photos adorn most
of the flat surfaces and the bed and windows are decorated
with elegant fabrics. Payne and George are rooted to the spot as they, and we, look into the room and see a canoodling couple in the bed. George marches in, but they seem completely oblivious to his intrusion. The female is very attractive – something which George, despite his anger, obviously notices.
GEORGE
What the bloody hell do you think
you're doing here? Did Vanessa
give you the keys? I've warned
her about that! I'm showing a
client round... Hey!
LADY IN THE BED
I love you Harold. I'll always
love you.
GEORGE
Hey! Are you listening? I'm
talking to you!
Payne gravely places a hand on George's shoulder.
PAYNE
I don't think they can hear you.
And...
The cam pans to show that the male half of the embracing
couple bears an uncanny resemblance to Payne.
PAYNE
And I think that's me in the bed.
George and Payne fall utterly silent.
MAN IN THE BED
I love you too Sally. Will you
marry me?
The Lady In The Bed grins like Tigger as she holds Payne's
‘double' tightly to her.
LADY IN THE BED
Yes! Oh yes! Of course I will.
Nothing would make me happier.
Mrs. Sally Payne! It has a ring
to it, don't you think?
The Man reaches over and into a drawer in the bedside
table.
MAN IN THE BED
And speaking of rings.
He produces a small, plush jeweler's gift box. As they
open it together, Payne cannot avert his gaze. George takes
hold of him and bundles him out of the room, slamming the
door shut and resting his full weight against it.
GEORGE
(Exasperated)
I thought you said you didn't
have a wife!
PAYNE
I don't. And even if I did, I'm
not in there with her, am I? I'm
out here. With you!
Payne mops sweat from his brow with a handkerchief. They
stand in silence for a moment, both staring into separate
middle distances.
PAYNE
So. What do we do now?
GEORGE
Well I'm definitely not going
back in there!
PAYNE
What's through this other door
then?
GEORGE
(Uncertainly)
That's the second bedroom...
PAYNE
Shall we?
George lunges to stop Payne from opening the second door
but is too late.
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