(Page 1 of 4) Man-Eating Squirrels by Daniel DoggettSUMMARY: Three unlikely hereos discover squirrels are killing and eating people in their neighborhood and develop a dangerous plan to destroy them.Outside Chris Jacobson's window it was utter chaos. He could scarcely believe his eyes. He had just stumbled out of bed a 6 in the afternoon, looked out his window, and saw dozens and dozens of squirrels tearing a man to shreds. Blood was everywhere. The man had to have been about thirty yards distant near a tall pin oak tree behind Chris' backyard. Am I dreaming, Chris wondered. Certainly not!
Chris had never been so scared in his whole life. He certainly wasn't about to rush out there and fight the squirrels off the man with a stick. He could call the police but they'd haul him back into the loony bin for the ninth time. He checked his pill box very quickly. He had taken all of his anti-psychotic medication. Besides, he had never hallucinated before, only got confused and disoriented from time to time. He sometimes just completely lost touch with reality. But the squirrels were still there outside his window.
Within a minute the squirrels had eaten all the flesh off the man's bones. His gray winter coat was torn to shreds and scattered around what were only bones at this point. The man's blue jeans looked like confetti. Chris thought he would call the police because there was blood all soaked in the grass and shredded clothes everywhere so they'd know he was not making it up. And the bones.
"9-11, what's your emergency?"
"Yes, I'd like to report an animal attack that took place outside behind my backyard."
"Who was attacked? Is he being attack now?"
"No, I'm afraid it's all over. I don't know who the man was," Chris said trying to remain calm but his heart was still beating rapidly.
"Who is this and what is the address, sir?"
"This is Chris Jacobson and I'm at 23 Oak Run Drive."
"What kind of animal is it?"
"I don't know. I'm not very good with animals. Wild animals. I don't know perhaps large badgers or something. I really don't know," Chris intelligently lied so as to be believed.
"I'll send somebody down."
"Thank you," Chris said. He hung up the phone and went back to the window. Then he went downstairs and to the door to wait for the policemen. He didn't have to wait long. Chris took them around back to where the attack had occurred and the police quickly sealed off the area with yellow crime scene tape. Chris went back inside and called Bertha, his best friend but to her he was only an idle curiosity.
"Hello?" Bertha said in a rather deep voice for a girl, especially one in her twenties and whom did not smoke.
"Yes, Bertha. You're never gonna believe what just happened."
"I never believe you anyway," she said bluntly.
"Squirrels just attacked a man and left nothing but the bones!" Bertha hung up. Chris redialed her number. "I'm not hallucinating. The police are here and everything. They sealed off the area with yellow tape. You can come over and see for yourself!"
"Well, I'm trying to work out right now. But what the heck. Be over there in twenty minutes," she said and then she hung up. Bertha was a large girl, a bodybuilder to be exact. She'd won Ms.
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