How YouTube Saved The World From The Antichrist
A Short Story by William Hrdina
November 5, 2006- the night before the Presidential election
"It was all going so well." The antichrist said wistfully, looking out the window of his privately owned Lear jet.
"Vote Bob Smith," was emblazoned on the side of the plane in large, friendly-looking letters. Bob Smith, the antichrist, was a handsome, square-jawed man in his early 40's. Just 24 hours earlier everything was going perfectly- and now everything was in the toilet.
Still climbing its way up into the sky, the plane banked hard to the right. Bob Smith glared out the window at the angry mob below- they were carrying torches- the little dots of light still visible from their altitude. He guessed there were at least two thousand people, and if he'd been only a little slower- he might not have escaped them with his life.
"Get me the poll numbers!" He demanded to his aide, a feckless, pale man whose job it was to stand very close to the fire.
"Here you go boss." The aide said. He knew the numbers would be the first thing Bob requested. The aide, unlike the rest of the people on the plane, was a demon. At least the aide had an excuse.
"Good! Now be sure to have every single person down there killed." The antichrist demanded. He ripped the paper from his aide's hand, took a deep breath, and looked at it. He groaned- it was worse than he'd expected.
"Where's my PR stooge?" Bob Smith demanded.
Timidly, PR stooge Matt Buckley approached the antichrist- as always, he was terrified- but the money was just too good to quit. "Yes sir. What can I do for you?"
"This." The antichrist said, shaking the paper. "I want to know about this."
"Well sir, according to the poll numbers... now keep in mind we are 24 hours from the election and everything is in flux- but right now, the people- well, they see you as 'Pure evil' sir."
"That a fact?"
"One moment sir, new poll numbers are coming in as we speak." The PR stooge said, looking at his Blackberry. He frowned at what appeared on his screen. "Latest poll puts you at 78% pure evil- which gives you a 22% approval rating."
The antichrist flinched. "Ooh- that's pretty bad."
"It's not good sir, no."
"How are you going to fix Bob Smith's image with the voters? We must insist there is cheating- the people must rise up and bring Bob Smith to power by force."
The antichrist was the kind of guy who talked about himself in the third person. It was only due to his satanically provided charisma no one ever called him on it.
"Well sir. People were already asking questions about you- we were seeing slippage in the numbers- but then there was the incident... and I'm afraid everyone is convinced you are indeed the antichrist."
"One little thing and they all turn on me? That's crazy! I had a 72% approval rating this time last night."
"Well sir, if you take the video by itself perhaps we could've seen our way clear- but there were other signs.,,"
"Signs? What other signs?"
"Well sir, for instance, there's the raven you always having lurking just over your shoulder." The PR stooge said, pointing at the raven lurking menacingly in the corner behind Bob Smith.