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(Page 2 of 2) Indiana Jones ... Deer Cave by Dan Bieger"There are two answers to the initial question. The correct answer depends on whether you mean absolute elevation from the mountain's base. If sea level is the requisite parameter, then Everest is the correct answer. But, if sea level is not the requisite parameter, then Mauna Kea is the correct answer."
"See," Harry said, "I told you that was too easy. So, here's my true poser for you this evening. Consider the Indiana Jones movies. You're responsible for scripting the next epic and Spielberg tells you he needs the world's eeriest place, preferably one occupied mostly by snakes but any other gruesome life form will do. What is the most obvious answer?"
Marvin immediately protested: "That's sheer opinion!" To which Harry smiled agreement.
"Hell, with the parameters that open you could change your mind mid-argument and we'd be none the wiser."
"Very true, Stephen, so I'll provide parameters. It must be a cave and it must be accessible."
"Well, that accessibility parameter rules out Carlsbad's Lechuguilla Cave, "Stephen said, " No one gets in there without specific permission."
"Wouldn't stop Indiana Jones," Marvin said. "But, you're right, Stephen. That rules out Lechuguilla and Karchner Cavern and half dozen others. Any other parameters?"
"Don't forget the eeriness requirement," Harry answered.
Sipping his boilermaker, enjoying the bite of the whiskey camouflaged in the sweetness of the beer, Marvin let a smile spread across his face, the non-verbal confirmation that he had solved Harry's poser. Both Stephen and Harry noticed the smile; Marvin didn't start talking until he was certain they had.
"Malaysia," he announced, the triumph nauseating to his friends, "Deer Cave. Couple million bats streaming out of the cave at a rate of 200K bats every minute. But, better than that, there is all that bat shit on the cave bottom. Bat shit attracts flies, maggots, beetles, cockroaches, millipedes, springtails, worms, and a jillion other bugs. All those nasty critters attract a peculiar set of predators: spiders, scorpions, snakes and others. The Deer Cave has the highest concentration of cockroaches on the planet, so dense that the surface of the dung heap looks like running water. What better place to hide some priceless idol?"
"Damn!" Harry said and that was all the confirmation he was willing to surrender.
"You have a sick mind," Stephen told his friend. "How else would you be the one person in the world who would know about this Deer Cave place?"
At the other end of the bar, Senor Viejo smiled to himself: "There is always the lake that has never seen the sun. Now, that would be a place to hide the Dao."
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