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(Page 1 of 6) War is all we know by Michael NealeMichael Neale
War is all we know
It was a hot afternoon on planet Urineus and Dark Lord was enjoying an ice-cold glass of Urunbrew on his porch. He gazed across the fields of shlops and was about to doze off when his phone barked and he fell out of his chair in surprise.
"WHAT!?" he answered. He was angry because he spilt his beverage.
"Its Ctwat" said the person on the other line. "You need to get down here right away we have a big problem."
"UHHaghrh...ok ill be right there," said Dark Lord and he hung up.
Dark Lord (DL) is the leader of the society on planet Urineus. Urineus is about half the size of earth and its surface is mostly composed of farmland used to grow shlops and ocean. The life forms of this planet are called Brewskys and they all live in the city of Sandwich. Brewskys look pretty much like humans except they have exceptional hearing and taste abilities and have green skin. Everyone in Sandwich works to produce Urunbrew which is the number one export to other planets and keeps the economy going. Urunbrew is a special beverage that is made from the Shlop crop that can only be grown on Urineus because it thrives in the planets particular moist climate. The drink is very popular throughout the galaxy because it tastes delicious; it's refreshing and it makes you feel great. It relieves of all stress and worry, which is why it is sold the most on planets like Earth where people work too much and go to school. Brewskys have a very laid-back lifestyle and are always happy unless they spill their beverage then they get really pissed off. You wonder why they care so much about loosing a bit of their precious drink when every residence in Sandwich has Urenbrew on tap coming straight from the factory via pipeline. Brewskys used to drink water but have evolved to need Urunbrew to live instead.
Dark lord hopped on his bike and cruised over to the main brewery. When he got inside Ctwat was talking with the other brew masters. Ctwat is the head of Urunbrew production.
"What seems to be the problem?" bellowed DL as he approached the group.
"A strange pest has been infecting our crop," said Ctwat.
"Infecting our Crop? Crap!" exclaimed DL.
"Yes, you're exactly right DL. Its feces contaminates the schlop leaf and makes Urunbrew undrinkable," explained Ctwat.
"Well then, all we have do is exterminate the pest and problem solved," Said DL.
"I wish it were that simple, it appears this pest comes from another planet because we don't have a chemical potent enough to kill it," said Ctwat.
"We must find where this pest has come from. There we shall discover how to exterminate of this annoying bugger species. This quest will take us all over the galaxy and even beyond if we have to, but we must find an answer at all costs," said DL as he looked into the void.
"That is true; luckily, we know where it came from. As we prowled around the field looking for answers we came across a crater. It appears the pest species came to our planet via crashed meteorite," said Ctwat.
"Interesting, go on," said DL paying close attention.
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(3 ratings)