Transtransport by Josh Cryer

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SUMMARY: Short story entry

Getting on the transtransport is like entering another universe, because that's just exactly what it does. The first time I hopped on board I was both fascinated and confused. For instance, as you enter the transport door you can look to your left or right and see other versions of you entering a multitude of multiversial trantransports at the same time. Some of you bump your head, others step back off after realizing just what you, or rather, 'they' were getting in to, only for another one to get on a moment later.

The transtransport works like this, you get on board, chose your destination with regards to some inconceivable number of universes, ie, press a random destination, and get off. Sometimes you'll exit the transport in a universe that is quite unlike your own, although that is unlikely. Generally the purpose is to exit in a universe where something bad that happened to you, didn't. The problem with this, however, is that if the bad problem didn't happen to your other multiverse clone, then some other bad problem must have compelled him to open the door at the same instance as you. The door to the transport is otherwise closed to those universes where your clone *did not* enter. It may sound confusing but this operating procedure had to be mandated in our universe simply because clones were constantly entering and it created an immigration fiasco (surely we can't be the only universe where people would want to come, merely an outlier that was significant enough to matter). You can only exchange universes with another clone of yours via DNA and generalized brain pattern matching.

This is one of the more remarkable things about the transtransport. It's highly improbable that you'll ever enter a transtransport without another clone of your own entering, though it is indisputable that someone in a mutliverse somewhere has always entered while never encountering themselves whatsoever, rendering the transport nothing more than myth, never to be convinced otherwise even with people going in wearing a certain piece of clothing, and exiting wearing something else entirely, or having a fully grown beard or length of hair after entering with neither.

I used the transtransport about 20000 times now. I spent half my paycheck every week to find a universe where I truly belonged. But given the nature of the transtransport it didn't look as if I'd ever find my destination, so I had to think of imaginative ways to circumvent how the system works. I decided to get a job down at the station, hoping that many other versions of me would have the same idea, since clearly we enjoy the hobby enough. Cleaning the station lines is quite horrific, they're 60 miles long, queues are always full, and the number of bad exits are just about as equal to the good.

Once a guy got on after having crapped himself from eating who knows what, why he wanted to get on is anyones guess. His exiting clone was in no better shape, having vommited all over himself, with what I believe was dry crap filling the lining of his pants.