We'll Always Have Horeb by Michael Aaron
 (3 ratings)
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SUMMARY: June Flash Fiction Entry I love you. I always have. From the first moment I saw you, there in the garden. There was something different about you. You weren't like the rest.
This is painful for me to say.
I know I haven't always been easy to live with. When we met, I thought it would all be so simple. We'd get to know each other, have a good time. Then you got all serious.
I must admit, that was a pretty weird time in my life. I was just starting out on my own and a new relationship was not something I was looking for.
What I'm trying to say is...Well, remember when I told you all that stuff about eternity? I didn't mean you to take me literally. Nothing lasts forever, right? Surely I've taught you that much.
I have my faults, I'm the first to admit it. I know I can be pretty mysterious sometimes – that's just the way I am. I'm jealous. You've got a roving eye and it drives me crazy. I can't remember all the times I've caught you flirting with someone else. How do you think that makes me feel? You think I like being angry? You think I want to throw my weight around? Sometimes I think you do it just to test me.
We're both pretty vain, aren't we? I love being the only thing in your world. And if you're honest with yourself, you get off on being with the big guy. You like to think you're the chosen one.
At least, you did. Not any more.
Don't think I haven't noticed how distant you've been towards me recently. Missing dates, anniversaries, not talking...You haven't been serious about our relationship for some time. It's not like you've found someone else either (yes, I spied on you. I can't help it). You've become...How can I put it? Introspective. Self-absorbed.
Honestly, I was a bit worried in the past about your level of dependence on me. You turned to me for every little thing and it got a little tiring, you know? I never had any time for me. You wanted me all to yourself. You never got on with my friends, I cast them out. You needed a new place, I arranged it. All I ever asked for in return was a little faith.
I don't begrudge you your independence. I think it's great. You've been doing a lot of new things recently, branching out, finding your way...Really, it's good. I'm happy you have your own interests now. It would have been nice to be included, or at least acknowledged after all I've done for you, but I've come to realise it's always been about you. Nothing I do is ever enough. And it never will be.
It hurts to say it, but we've grown apart. We don't have anything in common. What I've finally realised is, it's always been this way. I was too in love to notice.
Still am. That jealous streak is a mile wide. But I've learned to control it, so don't worry. There won't be a repeat of what happened the last time we had a major falling out. I keep my promises.
Yes, we're all very civilised now aren't we? You in your fancy new clothes and your little gizmos. I know they mean a lot to you, so I won't belittle them. You know how I feel about all that, anyway.
I don't think we should see each other any more.
I can't believe I said it. I almost didn't...You know I still love you, right? I always will.
It's nothing you've done, really. It's me.
That's such a cliché, I know. But it's true. I'm not in the same place I was when we met. I've grown, too...There's so much out there, you know? I've got to be a part of it all. You feel it too, I can see it. But we're at different stages of our personal development. Inward, outward, yin, yang...
All that spiritualist crap of yours. See, you've taught me something!
I'll always be here for you. I mean that. If you need anything, anything at all, just call me. I'll find a way to get it done for you. Just trust me to know what's in your best interests. You think you're ready for what's out there on your own, oh boy – you have no idea. Really.
Sorry. Forget I said that. I'm sure you'll do just fine.
I'll stay in touch.
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