Sweet, sweet release <<find more posts by Clive>>
1312th Day of the Awakening (Wednesday)
Hero strides through the doorway, fire and blood licking at his sword like fluffers in a porno. The virgin light of the new day plays across his hair and tries gamely to form a halo. He looks a true and shining hero straight from the sagas. Well I should know - I wrote most of them. One of my Grimlocks hangs grimly to his mannish rump, gnawing ineffectually. Frakda the grey, one of my more capable myrmidons. Let go you fool! I think, but dare not utter. Fortunately Hero's more than up to the role I designed for him. His blade cleaves Frakda's skull with a desperate savagery, splaying black and vinegary blood across my scarlet robes and the Hero's glistening torso. I hurry to the Throne of Skulls. The Hero barely has the wit to wait for me to reach my appointed place before DarkBreaker™ skewers my intestines.
"No!" I shout, delighting myself with the power of my farcical emotive display as the juices of my life, my vitriol and spite, spill out across the cavern floor. It's over. I'm free. Free to fade into obscurity and myth and, fates willing, they won't find some pathetic and contrived reason to awaken me in a few thousand years. Hope I did a better job of hiding the Grimoire detailing my resurrection spell this time.
Don't lose hope now! <<find more posts by Clive>>
1311th Day of the Awakening (Day of lost Hope)
By all the Gods (pussies, the lot of them) but I do believe this Hero and his Glorious Company might finally make it through my corrosive mists of Zorn™ and across the Pit of Lamentation®. It's about damn time. I turned the Zorn down to level one, and I decommissioned the Pit a week ago when I realised my defenses were too much for the lug-head. Sheesh. I'm soooo tired of this crap.
Oh for crying out loud <<find more posts by Clive>>
1302nd Day of the Awakening (Pancake day)
Had to have words with my favoured Demon, SoulRipper. He's disemboweled a couple of hundred of the Good-Guys in the Battle of Araskar Pass as planned, but failed spectacularly to land the mortal wound on Princess Brittany required to drive my hero to previously unseen levels of righteous indomitability. It's going on Ripper's bi-annual appraisal. And pay will be docked, oh yes.
Going according to plan. Just. <<find more posts by Clive>>
1250th Day of the Awakening (St Gibson's day)
This kid is a total dunce. I left a sword in the care of Triates who I paid off to throw the fight and the kid still nearly lost. I even arranged for a renegade wizard smith to mend the shards (actually he had the real DarkBreaker™ in his backroom just ready for the switch) except the kid was more interested in getting it on with the rebellious Princess Brittany who just happened to escape her oppressive father and rot-scabbed castle on that day.