The Lady of the Lake by Otilia Tena

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I suddenly didn't know what to make out of it; we were between the cold, wet walls of a no name monastery and I remained behind, feeling at ease with my new grief, though instantly remembering that doing so would most certainly betray me and make me vulnerable. So I walked again among them, moving my hips like I always did, not giving a damn. " Exhibitionist ! He was right, the old man who knew me."

Lunch was peaceful; I might've felt it joyful, it might just have been like a ripe pear fallen on the ground, spreading its nice smell all over... but it wasn't. Not any longer, not to me. Dark shapes surrounded me, a promise of shudder; I wanted to shake it all off me.

All activities continued like that until evening; I feigned getting involved in them, laughing, smiling, even giving advice when needed; I was torn between hiding it deep inside of me and letting everything out. She noticed it, of course; she always noticed. I felt like talking to a close friend, but my best friend was home. " It would be horrible to let it out, right? Why should I, if everybody knows it? It's as clear as daylight. Why make a fool of myself and tell everybody? No, wait ! This is the best thing to do ! If you remain silent, they will think you feel ashamed. But you don't, actually. You are angry, you are ravished, but you aren't ashamed. Why should you be?"

We all gathered again at dinner and I tried to discover the guilty one again; it all seemed so useless as I knew there were at least ten of them who were attracted to me. " Wait ! You're right, but not all of them would have the courage to do it ! God ! What if... no, it can't be ! It can't be ! She was in the shower, for God's sake ! I know we once talked about having fantasies with women but it was just talk ! And I would've certainly had other clues too."

So there was again an assembly in the living room and they started " Truth or Dare" just like the evening before. And there came my turn to ask.

" Was it you who raped me yesterday night?"

There was a sound silence; I would have expected nothing less. I got up and walked to the center, in the middle of them. All of them were there, even the mummies, even the driver.

" One of you raped me yesterday night in my room ! I don't know who did it, he bound my eyes and told me to keep quiet, or else... I felt the blade of a knife at my neck."

" For God's sake, miss !"

" Oh my, it can't be !"

" What did you say? Oh , God !"

The entire room was now full of rumour; they all exchanged looks and words and gave me horrified faces. She looked at me as if I had exploded or so.

"Oh, poor you ! Why didn't you tell me u were raped? Yesterday night? You mean... when? When I was in the shower? That is why you looked so scared? Why didn't you tell? Who could do this to you?"

"Right, miss; who could do this and why?"

"Oh, no! You are lying! These are your students, miss! These are our children! Why would they do this?"

" Yes, why? They are all good kids. No, you must be lying. You wanted to spoil our trip, right? You, young and lonely women, always in search of affairs, even with your own students! What kind of model are you for them?"

" You've got no right to talk to me like this!"

" And who gives you the right to talk like this of our children? Of your students?"

" I wonder what the headmaster will think of it!"

" She will think the way she has to think!"

As we all sat again in the bus, I sank into my grief afresh.