In memoriam by Joe Moler

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Drinking cafe this morning I was reading newspaper Daily Star enjoying nice sunny day at my porch. Coming to the last page I sow news that me, Joe Moler, is dead.
In the section "IN Memoriam" surrounded with photos of teen other pasangers for Heaven: was also my photo. At this photo I am smiling and look happy but actually and usually I am not smilig when I am taking photos, I am being very serious looking any time taking photo of me, and this makes me to start being suspicious about that news that talk about my dead. Everything was exactly wright : my first name was exact, my last name also, day of birth too, and this fact that i was noble, honest and human during my entire life on pleanet Earth .
I went to the big mirror in the living room and look to my face. That's me, I bride close to the mirror and mirror become foggy due to my breath. See, these one dead men can't do. I went to bathroom and start pising. This action or activity of me was very good hirable and I also concluded once more that this action the dead men from the last page in Morning star, section IN MEMORIAM: can't do.
I was steal in doubt about my death not believing Morning Star section INMEMORIAM so I went to the bar Casablanca across the street. Veatres Joplin give me glass of cognac and mineral water and told me by blinking with her right aye that Sonia was looking for me last night around 11 o'clock.
I finish with cognac, and left bar going to my girlfriend Sonia in her cozy one badroom apartment in Blacker street. WE make love on her French bed for one hour and 30 minutes. During this activity I was looking at mirror and I nicely sow me and her enjoying this beautiful human exercise. Did you ever seen that dead man make love for one hour and a half looking at big mirror at back wall? Probably not, actually I am sure not.
Happy to realize that this scary news in section "in Memoriam" of Morning Star last page news was mistake, I kiss Sonia for goodbye and went to the elevator.
Thank You Joe, said Sonia while I was standing in elevator floor pressing down baton.
'You was much better making love this morning then when you was alive'.
I fill dizziness and I fall down on the elevator floor. Wile elevator was going down; probably to the Hell, I was thinking that this stupid IN Memoriam news that says that I am dead is really truth and that I am going down with this elevator at the place that I deserve... going down I only hear the elevator rusty noise and Sonia's hysteric leafing....