(Page 1 of 3) A Scene from the Life of Shadowfax, Gandalf's Horse by William HrdinaSUMMARY: Being Gandalf's horse might not be as terrific as it sounds.
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William Hrdina
Oh sure, I know what you're thinking, I couldn't possibly have a thing in the world to complain about. You're thinking you would give anything to be in my hooves. After all, my master is Gandalf the White, one of the most famous magicians in the history of Middle Earth. And I am Shodowfax mythical horse given to Gandalf by Theodon the King of the Horse People. I'm the fastest horse in the world and my master is the dictionary definition of a hero. On paper I've got the best life in the world.
But truth be told, my life pretty much sucks.
Sure, Gandalf can shoot lightning from a stick, but there's more to life than pyrotechnics and killing ten orcs with a single blow.
Like hay, for instance. I happen to like hay a great deal. I like eating hay more than running or standing or anything else. But do I get to eat all the hay I want to?
Of course not.
Sure he stops when he has the chance, but when you spend your life saving the world from ultimate evil it doesn't leave a whole lot of time for snacks.
So believe me when I tell you there are down sides to my job. It's not all parades and glory, not by a long shot.
For instance, I want to tell you what just happened to me. For at least a year we've been racing all over everywhere trying to track down a ring that Gandalf read about while hanging around and smoking the "hobbits leaf." Yeah, right, it's pot and we all know it. So anyway, we've been traveling for months, never staying in one place for more than a day or two, trying to find this ring.
Then he finds it. So I'm happy right? Thinking okay good, we finally get to rest for a bit. And instead, right away he just gives the thing to this little midget guy with the hairiest feet you've ever seen.
Then more with the running.
Every time we stop long enough for me to meet a nice filly or find a particularly tasty clump of grass he's up on my back yelling for me to "run like the wind" or "show him the meaning of the word speed" or "may the wind envy your swiftness."
You have no idea how annoying this gets over time. No one ever yells to Gandalf, "Be really wizardly, like Merlin." He gets respect.
I get to run all over kingdom come and I don't even get health insurance or a 401k plan.
We ended up running all the way back to Rohan, my first home. It was nice to see some of the guys from my foal days, but then it turns out we're just there because a huge battle is looming.
The next thing I know we run into this battle and I barely get through it alive. I mean there were all kinds of nasty creatures everywhere swinging sharp and pointy things at my tender bits. But I made it through.
Not two days after the battle we were on the road again this time with a bunch of folks and two different midgets. I don't know what it is with Gandalf and midgets. He's always liked to visit them and hang around their village. I think it's the weed.
Anyway, after the battle we go to this ridiculously phallic tower owned by an old buddy of Gandalf's named Sarumon.
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