Sangrove Pie by Wade Jia

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SUMMARY: A random story written in 9th grade. Fairly confusing, filled with repetitive humor, but if you like that kind of stuff, then go watch Monty Python. I mean ready my story.

The flowers had long stopped blooming and the grass had already withered away to an appalling brown color. Leaves of yellow, red, and orange hung on the tips of branches, as if clinging to dear life. Many had already fallen to the ground and had become squashed and oozy, covering the asphalt road like giant pus filled rags. The road was old and rutted, though not many people lived in these parts. This was mainly due to the fact that someone had invented nifty digital fat density measurers about 20 years ago and somehow there was a huge business for it. Some professor somewhere explained that the current society was weight unconscious, so once they had a look at their little beeping watches and saw the huge quantities of fat in their bodies, everyone suddenly just had to have those nifty fat density measurers because it was stylish, though it didn¡¯t do anything to help anyone with their fat quantity and they continued on being so obese that it made the people living in the USA back in the 21st century seem like a whole lot of Arnold Schwarzeneggers before he became the Governator.

So eventually everyone moved from the farms to the cities and made hundreds and thousands of dollars, became famous, bought hundreds of these stylish digital fat density measurers, and went into abject poverty in the same day. Obviously, the people who had once lived along that road had moved away for many years, never to return to the loneliness of living an entire 56 yards away from your neighbors. Anyhow, going back into the story, let¡¯s continue down that sludgy road. If you traveled long enough along this road, you would notice a continuing pattern of homely, squat metal buildings, with solar rays sticking haphazardly around. It was a world without Queer Eye for the straight guys/gals. If you looked more closely, you could see that the ¡°stainless¡± steel that covered these buildings in long sheets of ugliness had long since rusted. In fact, the stainless steel started to rust the exact second the warranty had expired, nearly 10 years ago. And to suit the stereotype of suburban people, there was a swing set behind every single house whose stainless steel also had long since rusted. Each of these houses was considered a farm, with an amazing amount of farmland (almost half an acre!), it would only be conceivable if a farmer, hobo, or some eccentric hobo farmer occupied one of the houses. As the great god, Budhallah, would have it, there was one such inconceivable house.

If you went into that inconceivable house, you would come upon a mass of computers, beeping gizmos, and long expired food, even though the new synthetic foods took years to expire. The computers beeped every other second on the second, so that any person who owned these computers would know the exact time. They beeped on and on, beeping their methodical, soothing beep, which only resulted in driving the owner of these computers insane. Of course, it is practically impossible for anyone to be sane around any contraptions like these computers, mainly because the appearance of one of these computers had the same effect as modern art in the fact that if any tried to figure out what the strange shapes meant, they would become aloof, wear trendy but strange clothes, and put on sunglasses at night.