amongst the unkown please comment my first story by Lewis Churchill

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SUMMARY: i would realy appreitaite comments... this is not finnished but its the first story i posted on sff so pleace comment

As I travel through the same familiar landscape of dreams. I ponder life and my existence in it. I know that I will wake up but I can't believe it nor can I believe the shadowy landscape of the dream land. My vision is blurred and my mind foggy and all I can hear is the tortured screams of souls trapped among the maze of dreams. As I walk around the maze in what seems to be a circles the landscape changes ever so slightly, that the difference is almost not noticeable. All I ever do in this land is walk on an uncertain path into a think layer of mist. The screams also change as I walk and now I think I can make out words amongst the pain filled screams. The air is growing heavy and thicker my vision is almost gone this is near when I wake up and re-enter the world of light. I keep walking but nothing seems to change I open my eyes and see nothing but a thick layer of fog surrounding me I turn around then back and I lose all sense of direction. I don't know which way to go. The screams start again and I can make out a few words "Help me I'm lost, please stop it from getting me help." As panic grasps me I close my eyes and run in any direction hoping for the best. As I run solemn tears roll down my cheek leaving a wet trail along my face. My long black hair sways from side to side as I run. The air begins to lighten I open my eyes to find I can see and my mind is clear. A smile broadens along my wet face. But it quickly goes as I look around me to see walls of maze and I realize I can still hear the tormented screams of those trapped in these walls. Those other lost souls are gone to all of humanity as I am. I start to walk again amongst the once foggy paths of the maze and I realize the tormented screams of lost souls are mine. I quicken my pace not believing it was over. The white walls of the maze seem to keep constantly following me as I begin to sprint. I trip over and start to shake as something grips my leg. Before I know what's happening my voice joins in unison with the screams "Help me I'm lost, please stop it from getting me help." Then I am fully gone to the fog and the mist of the unknown land of dreams. It is me and I'm it.

As I walk under the fiery sun my feet sink into the desert sand. Beams of light burn my pale skin and my black hair hangs ruggedly. I feel neither warmth nor cold just the eeriness of nothingness. My green eyes dart around in search of any living mammals but nothing can be seen along the great sandy plain. I hate the sun and all the memories it brings back, all the old days. It used to bring me happiness as I would lay in a wheat field and let myself be engulfed by the sun it was my only retreat from the loneliness I felt I was an outcast among outcasts. The odd one out, the last person to be picked for any games. The wheat field was my paradise my only sanctuary. I used to enter into the dream world there and it used to confuse me now I understand though I wish I didn't. ‘Move on' I force myself to think. I trudge through the sand which now goes up to my knees. The win picks up and hurls sand in all directions I lift my pale hand to cover my eyes but still I move on.

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