I lie here, bleeding against the thorns.
I feel each point tearing through my flesh like tiny double edged swords entering painfully. Slowly. Torturing me. Each drop of blood dwindles from each puncture, almost gently, mocking me as all other feeling left except pain. The torture continues as each thorn digs deeper, penetrating the flesh and willing the blood to leave me. I beg silently for the pain to fade away.
I can't cry out as I feel a lone thorn unhurriedly drive into my throat. I swallow hard as the metallic taste lingers on my tongue, and the walls of my throat got lined with blood as the thorn drilled into it.
I don't know why it started. This torture. All I know is that I started falling into this abyss, getting lowered until the thorns gently started to tease me. Until it started to wrap itself like chains, banishing my freedom of movement. Until it started to pierce.
Until I started to bleed.
Why? I screamed inside the darkness in my mind. My breathing steadily increased its pace, and each breath came shallow. I was desperate to grasp the life dwindling away from me. I feel my body shudder as the lack of air has taken its toll on my maimed body.
I tried to calm myself even through the pain. I couldn't understand why I had to die here alone, forsaken by the world to be forever broken. To be beyond mending. To bleed. To be left to the torturous little knives big enough to tear through me.
I shut my eyes tightly as my body started to numb from the harrowing pain, from the raw wounds. The thorns were painfully pulling away from my skin, one by one withdrawing. It let blood spring from where I was pierced.
I breathed deeply as another wave of pain washed over me. I feel the white hot pain delving into my soul as I remember how I fell apart. How I fell away from everybody. How I lost myself.
How I started to die.
I tried to sit up, hoping that I would be able to cast off the shackles binding me to pain. I gave a strangled cry as I felt another assault of the thorns. I gasped as the thorns dug so deep that I felt them penetrate my flesh and reach my very core.
My vision blurred as I feel my insides tear apart and feel my body shiver involuntarily. I felt the retching pain, and feel it beyond what any mortal can endure. I felt it try to destroy that thing inside me screaming.
Screaming for redemption.
My eyes stung painfully as blood started erupting from the lids of my eyes. The thick, warm crimson liquid stained my cheeks as tears fell from my eyes like rain in a storm.
I feel my weariness drag my spirits. My body had stopped resisting...and started to embrace the thorns with resignation.
I have surrendered.
I have given in to the pain. I just want to end it all.
I want to die.
I tried to will the pain away, and I tried to make everything burn. I created a void inside of me, and I let everything drown in it...my pain. My suffering. The bitter memories.
The dark shadows creeping to me I welcome, and the white light inside my head I embrace.
It's not about giving up. It's about giving in.
Let death kiss me goodnight as I stop to bleed for redemption.
I will be whole again. After the pain.