Secret Worlds: Elves and Hobnobs by S. FrankensteinSUMMARY: What is it about hobnobs and Elves...? ;)"Ah yes, the Elf facination with rich, wholesome goodness of hobnobs," the captive said, squirming in his ropes to get into an upright position - which wasn't easy, concidering all the rope wrapped around him had his hands pinned next to his face, giving him a strange worm-like look. I leaned over and helped sit the elf upright, leaning him against the wall.
(*note for our non-British readers - A 'Hobnob' is a brand name for a British 'biscuit' or cookie, a nobbly oatmeal one. They can be plain or covered in either dark chocolate or caramel.)
"Do be a dear and be mother, won't you?" he asked, nodding to the tea pot and the plate of biscuits. "I'd try but things get messy very quickly, I'm afraid."
"Milk?" I asked him.
"Oh please," he simpered.
"One lump or two?"
"Just the one, must watch the figure, eh what?"
"Sugar?"
The elf's face turned ghastly pale and he stared at me wide-eyed in horror. "Wha... what was that? You don't mean the milk was the... oh my god....!"
"It's ok, just a small joke!"
"A joke? About tea? You are heartless!"
"Sorry, its just you're trussed up like that, I thought..."
"I doubt it!" he snapped.
"Don't get snippy!" I growled, handing him an elegant bone teacup on a saucer.
"Sorry," he grumbled from behind the cup. "It's just things have been very difficult lately."
I watched as he awkwardly took hold of the teacup handle with his free hand and took a sip.
"Wouldn't it be easier if I untied you?" I asked again.
"Oh no," he said, setting the teacup back in the saucer with a slight clink, "Wouldn't be sporting, eh what?"
I cleared my throat.
"Hmmm? Oh yes, hobnobs!" he smiled. "Well now, it just sort of satisfies a deep need within us. And they're delightfully crunchy. And for those who need it, the chocolate ones are just to die for!"
"Apparently," I said, raising an eyebrow. "So that's why you're going to get your head lopped off?"
"It is when you take the chocolate off and put the rest back in the packet. Curly-toes can be such a snit about that!" he nodded, taking another sip.
*excerpt taken from The Secret Worlds of SFFWorld.com.*
--Ex.
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