Derrick Davis Presents: The Bermuda Triangle

Discussion in 'Writing' started by ddavis, Jan 13, 2002.

  1. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum system at this site [​IMG] My name is Derrick Davis, I am 14, and am a writer of sci-fi and fantasy stories. My first true story I have ever written is about, let's say... 75 pages when printed out on letter sized paper in font size 12. It was about a time-travel experiment where a paleontoogist is sent into 4 times of the prehistoric past (Including the dinosaur-flled Jurassic period). You can find this story of mine at http://www.timedome.u2i.org

    Now, to get to the point in this post, I have now started a new story about one of the greatest sea mysteries of all time... The Bermuda Triangle. This story will be about a group of tourists who get sucked into a giant whirlpool which takes them into another world. This story will be complete with illustrations by my aritist, and you can see it's beta website (Right now it's only a page representing it), at:
    http://www.freehomepages.com/ddavis/Main.html

    I hope someone will be interested in this story, it certainly excites me. And I also hope to enjoy these forums, they look quite interesting.

    -Derrick
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2002
  2. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    Isn't anyone interested?
     
  3. Erebus

    Erebus Keeping The Equilibrium

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    Hi, Derick, welcome to our shores.

    I'm sure that if you give folk some time, they will respond to you.

    Some of us have to work as well, sadly! [​IMG]

    [This message has been edited by erebus (edited January 13, 2002).]
     
  4. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    oh, sorry, I'm just kind of excited and was anxious to find out what people thought. [​IMG]
     
  5. Alucard

    Alucard Snazzy Dancer

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    Checked out your page, very nice. As you said, it's a little lacking in the web design department, but you're definitely off to a nice start. Seems like you've got a good thing going. Keep it up.
     
  6. KATS

    KATS Registered User

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    I'm not clear on what you are wanting. I tried to find the Bermuda Triangle story, but I couldn't find it. Am I missing something?
     
  7. Erebus

    Erebus Keeping The Equilibrium

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    Yes, Derrick, I too found your web page with no problem, but couldn't find your online story at that link you posted. However, I see that you have submitted it to our story section here so it will show up in a week or two for all to read! [​IMG]
     
  8. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    oh, sorry for all the confusion folks! [​IMG] The bermuda site does not have the story YET. it is a story in production... that's why you cannot find it. [​IMG] but tonight, my site's design will be up with some neat little previews, and a forum to post your imput.

    then you may ask... what was the story you sent to this site? it's my story about time-travel titled: TIME DOME... a very great read and i reccomend all readers to read it! [​IMG]

    see you all in a while [​IMG]

    -Derrick
     
  9. Erebus

    Erebus Keeping The Equilibrium

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    Originally posted bt Derrick:

    The site for my upcoming fantasy novel is now truly and officially open! Take a look at the site now and post comments here and at my site's message board especially made for the story!
    http://www.bermudatriangle.u2i.org
     
  10. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    so... what do you guys think of the site and the limited amount of illustrations?
     
  11. Carmichael

    Carmichael Guest

    The site looks good. Simple to look through. No unessential garbage to wade through. The few graphics you've got are nice and neat. Well done.
    Stacey's artwork is quite strong. The pieces shown on the site could use some tightening and a little cleaning up, but they look really quite good. And I say this as someone working on a degree in the art field. Assuming she is of an age similar to yourself, I would place her drawing skills at 10 years older. I wouldsuggest that any other pieces be inked and maybe even colored before you place them on the page.
    One more thing before I go. The premise for your story sounds rather interesting IMO. But then I have always had an interest in things B. Triangle. [​IMG]

    Hasta la bye bye
    Carmichael

    [This message has been edited by Carmichael (edited January 17, 2002).]
     
  12. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    hey, thanks Carmichael! yes, stacey is about one year than I (She is 15, i am 14). believe it or not, in my opinion, her non-colored pics seem better to me than the colored ones. btw, there will be many more pics for this story, there will be at least 17, possibly more.

    so you like the story's premise? good, i was hoping someone really would. i really wanted to make something original for once, and i think I have done it. i mean, who would have thought to tie in the bermuda triangle with mythical creatures like the griffon and sea serpent? what exactly do you like about the premise?

    well, since the story will not be out until summer, keep checking the site for updates in the 'news' section, and also visit my previous story about time-travel at: http://www.timedome.777i.net which also ha art by Stacey (most in color).

    and, if you want to discuss more of this, and try to pry out of me more of what te story is about, e-mail or instant message me at: time_dome@hotmail.com

    see you Carmichael and everyone else later! [​IMG]

    -Derrick
     
  13. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    new update... another illustration added... check out the news section.

    also, the story is still in pre-production. it has gone thgrough alotta changes in the past months.
     
  14. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    Forum!

    a new forum is now created! this will be the greeting place for people to put input and ideas into the upcomming story (which when i get older, i'll make it into a movie... seriously, i'm going places!). the site has yet to have its major update, but besides the forum... let me give you all another interesting little preview...

    below... is the link to an actual video trailer for the story... composed of illustrations and music. it is a neat little teaser,a nd is avaialble for download below in a zipped file.

    http://diehard.ath.cx/~scallenger/Bermuda Triangle Trailer.zip

    anyhow, here is the forum:

    http://diehard.ath.cx/board/viewforum.php?forum=25&18

    and for newcommers... read this post first:

    http://diehard.ath.cx/board/viewtopic.php?topic=643&forum=25&7

    ENJOY! :)
     
  15. sci-fi_fantasy_fanatic

    sci-fi_fantasy_fanatic The Envious

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    Interesting... That is all I am gonna say
     
  16. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    UPDATE: new trailer will SOON be released, AND a story preview!

    the update should be this weekend.
     
  17. Erebus

    Erebus Keeping The Equilibrium

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    originally posted by Derrick Davis:

    The link to the story is fine by itself, Derrick (though right now your site seems to be down). We have been limiting the amount of large posts at the forum boards and we have to be consistent with this. Others have posted a link or submitted their stories to our story section.

    Thanks. :)

    ~Erebus~
     
  18. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    OH! (embarassment spreads on my face). sorry about that. yes, my host does seem to be down at the moment. hopefully it will be back up tomorrow. :)

    sorry
     
  19. Duarh

    Duarh New Member

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    I checked out the story preview section. . .

    Interesting. However, you need to work on your language & style. With the kind of skills you show in the excerpt, you can't write a novel and expect people to actually read it.

    It's just a matter of writing, though. After a few years of working on your skills, writing a good story shouldn't be that hard.

    :) reminds me of the quality (if that's a word that can be used) of writing I had at 14, just a few years ago.

    Keep working, join a writers' workshop for good advice (http://sff.onlinewritingworkshop.com for higher quality & pay, www.sf-f.org for lower quality & free, or any other)

    and yeah, besides, it would help if you devoted the time you're currently spending on web maintenance to writing
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2002
  20. ddavis

    ddavis Registered User

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    actually, i have spent 6 months planning this whole story out, i know i from start to finish, i even know where all of my foreshadowing goes. so am i spending more time on web design? of course not, that is just a bonus. i know my languge is not quite right, but my style? what do you mean by my style, what is wrong with that?

    i am ot yelling, i'm just concerned. i mean... i have been writing for a very long time,and this is the most original idea i have come across, and now someone says "you cant write a novel and actualy expect people to read it"? and that later on "writing a good story should not be very hard"?

    this really sets my spirits low.