Hook me in 25 words or less

Discussion in 'Collaborative Stories' started by MrBF1V3, Sep 5, 2007.

  1. Steven L Jordan

    Steven L Jordan I like SF. SF is cool.

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    It took a few seconds' staring--and consequently being bumped from behind by another pedestrian--before Lane was sure he wasn't staring at a cloud.
     
  2. pragmatist

    pragmatist pragmatist

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    This was an old ship, any self-respecting science museum would have thrown it in the bin three centuries ago. Still, it was cheap....
     
  3. McGooberpoot

    McGooberpoot Self Acclaimed Author

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    The bloody, sickening *pop* of the arrow being pulled from his heart, and the euphoric fear of death, made him realize he still loved her.
     
  4. N. E. White

    N. E. White tmso Staff Member

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    Oh, I like that! A whole story in one sentence. Very cool. :)
     
  5. McGooberpoot

    McGooberpoot Self Acclaimed Author

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    Why thank you, sir. I am most impressed with myself for making it exactly twenty five words. hehe :p
     
  6. kennychaffin

    kennychaffin Man of Ways and Means

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    "It happened so quickly there was nothing we humans could do. The first spark was in a research lab at Stanford. ..."
     
  7. Gkarlives

    Gkarlives Mystic and Misfit

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    This is how the world should have ended, unfortunately I don't know what I did wrong.
     
  8. N. E. White

    N. E. White tmso Staff Member

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    I thought you actually meant it! Good one. ;)
     
  9. Marc L. Higgins

    Marc L. Higgins Berzerker Hulk

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    Tempting

    It all began with a collapse. The world as we knew it was gone; lost within the dust and death of the memories in time.
     
  10. Mike_Starks

    Mike_Starks New Member

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    "Hook me in 25 words or less" she said.
    That's when I knew she'd be my wife.
    I took the razorblade from my mouth and...
     
  11. Glelas

    Glelas Seven Mary Four

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    The video went viral in three minutes. They came for me in ten.
     
  12. Marc L. Higgins

    Marc L. Higgins Berzerker Hulk

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    Life

    In Life all we want is more and in death all we want is life. Hummanity a complete folly of time.
     
  13. Gkarlives

    Gkarlives Mystic and Misfit

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    The company telepath was the first to go down then all hell broke loose.:D
     
  14. kennychaffin

    kennychaffin Man of Ways and Means

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    I like that, but "all hell broke loose" is pretty much a cliche, I might change it to something else maybe "then things really got bad."

    :D
     
  15. Hoodwink

    Hoodwink contains traces of nuts

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    Bent double in a salt-filled chest of bone waits Deraxis. Eyes and mouth copper-sewn tight, heart beating with every midnight.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2012
  16. N. E. White

    N. E. White tmso Staff Member

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    Dude!!!

    You have to come back. That is wicked. Sent shivers down my spine. What does Deraxis wait for? I hope for a chance to nibble away at those who put her in that chest.

    I wonder, though, if the comma might be better left in that first sentence for just a bit more clarity. I did have to read it twice to get the gist, both your first version and this one.

    Either way, the two sentences paint a vivid picture. Well done.
     
  17. Window Bar

    Window Bar We Read for Light

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    "I couldn't let them starve," said Helene, "so I've opened a gate through to the neighbors' yard. Pit bulls do eat children, I hope?"
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2012
  18. Luya Sevrein

    Luya Sevrein Humble Grifter

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    "Sometimes I scream to let it out. No one hears."

    Though they stood under the lights, in the crowds, as the people passed through him.
     
  19. M. R. Mathias

    M. R. Mathias Banned

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    Hyden Hawk and Mikahl discussing their two man invasion of the Dragon Queen's castle.
    From: Kings, Queens, Heroes, & Fools - The Wardstone Trilogy Book II


    “We go up into that castle and start killing skeeks and bald-headed wizards until there’s no one left to kill.”

    “Is that really your plan?”
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2012
  20. M. R. Mathias

    M. R. Mathias Banned

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    From: The Confliction - Dragoneer Saga Book III


    "Ohh, Zahrellion, you'll find love again," Jenka said to her as a coral-green tear rolled down his cheek.
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2012