Hook me in 25 words or less

Discussion in 'Collaborative Stories' started by MrBF1V3, Sep 5, 2007.

  1. Mock

    Mock N/A

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    A winner. No joke. So are Hereford Eye's and Getheli's.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2008
  2. enazwo

    enazwo Eloquence & Inebriation

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    The gravelly wind was as delightful as ever in the mornings when he fed his pony the peppers and squirrels.
     
  3. 7valentine

    7valentine Banned

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    Here's a couple I've come up with.
    **************************************************************************

    As long as I live he'll haunt me, taunt me, then destroy me. There's only one escape for me ... for both of us.


    For the first time she looked at her bed. She saw herself. A semblance of herself. Nightie drawn over her hips. Bed clothes in disarray.......


    To jealousy, nothing is more frightful than laughter.


    Robert Beck was tired of being intimidated and humiliated by Mr. Walsh, his boss, so one Friday Robert shot him.
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2008
  4. Mistress Maerad

    Mistress Maerad Idon'tknowwhatthatmeans.

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    I'll have a go!!!!

    "I don't care what love is," said the nymph almost uncertainly.
    "But don't you want to know?" replied Shade, and his fingers brushed her cheek.

    ...............

    "Era, oh my gosh, no..." he sobbed into her body as she lay cold as ice on the floor.

    ...............

    The hill collapsed, and the rider screamed in terror as her mount slid over the cliff. The last thing he saw were her sorrowful eyes.

    ...............

    "I....I want to stay," she whispered.
    He turned to face her in a sudden, fierce, hope. "Really?" he breathed.
    She hesitated in the doorway.

    ..............

    She laughed; it was the most joyous thing he had heard in all his years. If only it had been that way before the accident.....

    .............

    The horse reared and galloped towards the enemy, his black mane rippling like the depths of a cold, dark sea, and all was well.

    ..............

    Well, did you like? I hope.....some of these I might use in my books, but whatever. :D Hope you enjoy.....
     
  5. EnlightenedOne

    EnlightenedOne Obsessive wisdom-seeker

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    My turn :D

    Here's a few I came up with while reading the thread:

    And then a few from my own stories:

     
  6. Barrett

    Barrett Registered User

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    "The first thing I saw when I stepped into my Uncle's embalming room was a filthy, plastic mop bucket."
     
  7. Mice9

    Mice9 Guest

    Science Fiction:

    A thousand fingers pointed to the sky. The light became so bright that the people cringed, and covered their eyes.

    Fantasy:

    "My fairies will saturate your kingdom in pestilence!"

    War:
    The dark figure loomed over my prone body. He swung the giant scabbard toward my head. All at once, his chest exploded in a blaze of red.

    Horror:

    He stared at the corpus delecti. "This is the cadaver?"

    Comedy:

    "No, you stupid toad. Put down that pickle. Roxy, stop staring."

    :D

    - 9.
     
  8. Mistress Maerad

    Mistress Maerad Idon'tknowwhatthatmeans.

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    More:


    I hope you like...
     
  9. 7valentine

    7valentine Banned

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    The little girl is only nine years old, but she knows blood when she sees it. She remembers that day she fell off her bike and grazed her knee.

    With the fifth recital of Jamie's murmured chant, Jenny fell backwards, limp, mid-sentence. The Bottle rattled on its base, twirling until it threatened to topple.

    It made her sick, and that was the truth of it, to see Mother liking the saw like that. Especially since Claire had seen what it did to her.

    Welcome to my Dalek poetry reading, this one's called daffodils:
    Exterminate daffodils! :D
     
  10. Mistress Maerad

    Mistress Maerad Idon'tknowwhatthatmeans.

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    More:

    I like this thread......
     
  11. Elysia

    Elysia New Member

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    "The dying words of my grandfather were meant to be heard, but they tumbled between his feeble lips like withered moths with his final breath and were crushed by a roar of thunder."
     
  12. Mistress Maerad

    Mistress Maerad Idon'tknowwhatthatmeans.

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    so sad.....


    okay, some more. I like this thread. :D

     
  13. Remaxx

    Remaxx Aspirant

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    I find that most writing deals with the sense of sight, or sound. Very few people ever attempt to write descriptives dealing with the sense of smell. Perhaps because it is unnervingly difficult, or perhaps because it just doesn't occur; I'm not sure.

    In any case, when I was in highschool -- oh, so many years ago -- I began a short story with a line dealing with the sense of smell. I don't know if it's a 'hook', or even worth keeping, but I'll throw it into the mix:

    The docks were old, salty smelling, and given to the occasional waft of sun-dried fish.

    That's all.
    Christopher
     
  14. Mistress Maerad

    Mistress Maerad Idon'tknowwhatthatmeans.

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    Interesting. I never realized that. Well, I'll give it a go...

     
  15. alliedfive

    alliedfive New Member

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    Mine

    How does one overthrow an empire? he thought. "Simple is best," he whispered, wheeling around to face his Emperor. His sword sang in its flight.
     
  16. Fantasyeatergal

    Fantasyeatergal I didn't do it!

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    This is a very good thread. Lets give it a go...

    or...

    in response to Remaxx comment...

     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2008
  17. Andrew Leon Hudson

    Andrew Leon Hudson and Noumenon was his name

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    An sf first line - I think I'll work this up into a short and see how many different minds I can fit in one brain...
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2008
  18. alliedfive

    alliedfive New Member

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    That one is great.
     
  19. Mistress Maerad

    Mistress Maerad Idon'tknowwhatthatmeans.

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    I like this thread....:D
     
  20. Fantasyeatergal

    Fantasyeatergal I didn't do it!

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    I realy love that thread! :D
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2008