Lost Breed - the meeting room

Discussion in 'Writing' started by lior, Sep 10, 2001.

  1. lior

    lior Registered User

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    Well, here it is.

    Next, please!




    [This message has been edited by lior (edited September 10, 2001).]
     
  2. voider

    voider New Member

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    Hi all, I had a neat post to go under the first one but sanclemente99 beat me to it. If you are going to turn this into a porn story count me out............Dag what do you have to say about it?
     
  3. Erebus

    Erebus Keeping The Equilibrium

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    Well, Voider, I don't know about Dag, but I was certainly disappointed by the content of the post to which you refer and have deleted it. Dag has been made aware of my decision, and San...I apologise for having to edit your post but it's really not what I believe we're after here at SFFWorld. If you have an objection to what I have done, then by all means, please contact Dag and I'll leave it to him to adjudicate.

    Thanks everyone,

    Neil
     
  4. voider

    voider New Member

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    well,were off again. Thought I would post a little mood setting stuff to get the collective juices flowing ...................next!
     
  5. Steven Savile

    Steven Savile Egor Maniac

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    So are we running with this or killing it?
     
  6. voider

    voider New Member

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    Gee neoxp, i'm not sure I follow you.I mean "put a thousand lives to death" I thought he is the only one of his kind left or at least thus far. Or does this aply to somthing else yet to be posted hmmmmmm."Hosts generosity"Another hmmmmmmm."his power"and of course "accepted their hospitality"So many questions so little space, but then again all's fair in love and posting, or is that love and editing .....any way good job i'll wait and see what happens ........next!
     
  7. NeoXP

    NeoXP New Member

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    Thanks for the remarks voider. ill try to edit my post to clarify a few points.
     
  8. sanclemente99

    sanclemente99 New Member

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    My apologies to anyone and everyone that I offended with my post.

    My intention was not to create a "porn" story. I carefully selected my descriptives to to introduce a profound -- if maturely expressed -- mood of loneliness through a remembrance of an event as a soldier on leave may recall it.

    Apparently I failed in that and instead offended. My apologies again to one and all. erebus, thank you for deleting the post.

    Please understand why I won't be posting again.
     
  9. daigoro

    daigoro I'm the law... Staff Member

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    Sorry about this sanclemente99. I hope you understand that this is not personal meant in any way, it's just as Erebus says that this is not what we feel sffworld.com should be about. We're just trying to make this a safe haven for all the younger people that we know visit the site.
     
  10. voider

    voider New Member

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    SAN.,we all make mistakes, We should learn somthing from them.Now you know what not to do. Beside's that since I was the one to post my objection I feel it only right to welcome you back(I forgive you) [​IMG]
    Isn't anyone else going to post anything?
    (I seem to be at an impass)


    [This message has been edited by voider (edited September 12, 2001).]
     
  11. An8el

    An8el New Member

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    yes san clem, if you had your e-mail listed, I would be writing you personally to beg you to continue posting. It's not a personal thing, but a social issue. I wouldn't want to lose your imaginative voice because of a fear of what someone might think - which is what's happened. None of us have an objection, probably none of the "kids" on this site object either, but their parents probably would object.
    Angel
     
  12. NeoXP

    NeoXP New Member

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    Hi
    I recently posted in this last collaberative story but unfortunatly i want be able to post story-parts again since school has started... so feel free to delete my post if it causes some inconsistancies in the story. Maybe when christmas begins i would take part in another cillaberative story.
    Thanks.

    [This message has been edited by NeoXP (edited September 14, 2001).]
     
  13. voider

    voider New Member

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    I added some more as this story is moving a lot slower. (due to WTC attack I think) [​IMG]

    [This message has been edited by voider (edited September 14, 2001).]
     
  14. lior

    lior Registered User

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    Voider, I will take the liberty of making a few suggestions for you, and PLEASE understand that it is not criticism, I'm only trying to help.
    I would suggest you use paragraphs, it makes the reading a lot more easy.
    also I would urge you to hit the space bar more often, as sentences blur and mingle with each other.
    God knows that my own spelling is far from perfect, and this is not an english class and you don't have to spell everything in a flawless way, but too many spelling errors can undermine what you are trying to do and that is to tell your part of the story.
    when I write I keep a dictionary by my side for those long or complicated words, not because I fear that everyone will say "he can't spell", but because I want to make the story as much as readable as I can. I think that when you read a story and find a spelling or grammatical error, you don't think of the story anymore, but on the words and sentences that make it.
    Again, I make mistakes too, but I try as much as I can to avoid them.
    I saw you edited the story twice, try and use the edit function to better your tale concerning style, I assure you that if you use pragraphs, spacing and check your spelling more often, your posts will have a much better impact! [​IMG]

    lior
     
  15. voider

    voider New Member

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    An8el,"Kadabra" is the word I was hoping someone would pick up on. You know, like the words you say when you do a magic trick to make somthing disapear.
    "ABBRA KADABRA"
    Small matter though,
    For some reason I keep picturing the birds you wrote about like the one's in the movie DARK CRYSTAL have you ever seen it?They were like buzzards with buldging eye's and long necks.I can't wait to see how these talking birds fit in and what they do next! [​IMG]
     
  16. An8el

    An8el New Member

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    Yes, I figured that hint; isn't the rule of thumb when you use cliche' that you're supposed to jog someone's expectations?
    I think that a sci-fi story is much harder to write in a babilion story than fantasy.
    It's because what makes a story sci-fi is often an idea... and how it plays out. Can we make the cryogenic time-lag the issue of the story? Or the serious effect that taking on fuel seemed to have for the planet left behind? The stowaways who might present a job for our hero to perform as restitution? Our hero's discovery of his identity? Or some new issue that ties all of these together?
     
  17. Erebus

    Erebus Keeping The Equilibrium

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    I waited a while to see how this new story would unfold, especially as I had such an active role in the last one - in fact, my brain still hurts from the hours of editing! [​IMG]

    And then of course the world changed, and then I got busy with other committments as well.

    But, we certainly have an unusual tale developing and I've finally found the time to add to it, though I still have no real idea of the direction the story will take from here. For me though, it's certainly an enjoyable exercise, especially as it brings its participants just a little bit closer, even though we'r
     
  18. Erebus

    Erebus Keeping The Equilibrium

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    Well at least here's part of of this topic! The server crashes this last few days have caused some problems it seems!
     
  19. nicba

    nicba Lost in a large book

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    At least the story itself is intact. That's the most important thing.

    I've written another post. It's a little short and I'm not too satisfied with the way it turned out. For some reason I think it sounds dry, or dull, or something. But it was the best I could do, I hope its OK.

    lior, I think maybe it would be a good idea if you let the mysterious lady with the changing hair colour meet up with Kay soon. There's only so much to tell about a lone man in a spaceship drifting through empty space. I honestly think it's about to grow stale.

    Oh, and erebus, I just noticed that this topic still has '48 replies' listed in the forum's list of topics. Strange.


    [This message has been edited by nicba (edited November 27, 2001).]
     
  20. lior

    lior Registered User

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    Yes, some strange things happened here in the last few days. the forum disappeared and came back again, only without the meeting room!
    Anyway, thanks Neil for salvaging at least half of it. [​IMG]

    nicba, I thought your post was quite intresting. True, it didn't move the story forward in a profound way, but we need some quiet moments from time to time. The hologram thing had to be addresed, and it sure wasn't done in a stale way.
    BTW, there's no such thing as a "too short" post. it could consist of only one line, as long as it is good.