[Metosblat]

The story really wasn't that bad, I liked it.
Well everything except for the ending which I thought seemed a bit rushed and unimaginative.

[This message has been edited by Dag Rambraut (edited May 29, 2001).]

[daigoro]

Well, as some of you will notice I've deleted a post in this topic as well as removed other quotes from it.

...so if everyone could try do be nice to each other it would be appreciated, we're trying to be friends here aren't we?

[Erebus]

Thanks, Dag,

I enjoy a good, heated discussion like everyone else, but there's no need for the blatant vulgarity shown by some in this topic, which you have now kindly removed.

[KATS]

I hesitate to give an actual critique of this story as it was originally posted almost a year ago and I’d question whether the author is still around. In fact, I did a search and I only found this 1 post by this person.

I did however want to comment on Bing’s critique. I agree, for the most part, about the story and the need for giving an honest critique. True the critique could have been worded a little less harsh. But Bing may not have meant for it to sound has harsh as it does.

Bing, I’ve been known to piss some people off with my critiques. I do not understand why authors would post here asking for feedback then expect to only get raves, but some do.

My friends and family do not have the ability to properly critique my work. The response I get from them is “it’s good” or “I liked it”. But I NEED more than that. I need to know if the characters are real, if they come alive for the reader. I need to know if the plot was strong enough. I need to know if the story was entertaining enough to keep you reading til the end. I need to know if the foreshadowing was too subtle or too obvious. I need to know things that only other authors / editors can advice me on. That is what I try to give people. And I would hope that if I ever submitted anything here that people would give me the same curtsy.

But then, that’s just my opinion. I have a feeling Erebus and I disagree on many, many things, not just this topic. http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/wink.gif

[Erebus]

Kats, my comments were largely relating to those made by Gabe, comments which Dag has had the good sense to remove. Also, I was not aware that we disagreed a lot. But if we do, I guess that's healthy, right?

[daigoro]

Kats, Erebus is quite right, it was the comments made by Gabe that was a problem not Bing's.

I feel there should be room for both positive and negative critique in the forum.

[KATS]

Actually, my comment about us disagreeing on a lot of things has VERY little to do with this thread. I've read Erebus's posts and we do disagree about many things. Just take a look at the post immediately following Bing's post and I can't say I agree with much Erebus says in just that one post. And that post was addressed to Bing, so I assume that it was in response to Bing's post. Correct me if I'm wrong. But the fact remains that from the posts I've read of Erebus's, we disagree on many, many things. I've never made a big deal about it and I suppose I've never brought it up before because it's really no big deal. After all, what fun would the world be if everyone agreed on everything? http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/wink.gif

[Erebus]

Well, it seems I may have indeed grabbed hold of the wrong end of the stick somewhat with my responses here, and others too perhaps. Yes, Kats and Bing, it is a good thing to give honest opinions, but I for one will draw the line at being unkind, or in Gabe's case, downright rude and vulgar. Also, I do not believe I have the right to offer overly harsh critique to people I don't know, especially without knowing if English is their first language or even how old they may be. Criticism can be constructive without being unnecessarily hurtful, at least in my humble opinion. http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/smile.gif

Kats, I can only sincerely apologise if my comments have riled you somehow; that certainly was never my intention! But, as you said, what a boring place it would be if we all had the same ideas - that much is agreed upon at least!

However, in this instance, and for this topic, I felt that Dalia was being unfairly criticised, and so I said as much, and then I really had to speak out against what Gabe had posted here! I guess it's in my good nature to defend those I believe have been wronged, especially in this case where very derogatory comments were made towards a female member of this forum. Perhaps you were lucky enough not to read them before Dag removed them, Kats? Nevertheless, had the comments been directed towards yourself or any other member, male or female, I would have responded the same way.

Perhaps old-fashioned chivalry is uncommon to many these days? If that's true, then it's a pity. So, line up here and call me old-fashioned if you must -I'll take it as a compliment every time!

My sincere and kindest regards,

Neil Cladingboel

[This message has been edited by erebus (edited May 29, 2001).]

[bing]

Erebus, I don't believe my post was very mean. I wanted to be honest. Does chivalry require you to lie? The purpose of this forum is for aspiring writers to get feedback on their work. As I mentioned in my post, if I ever decide to write a story, I would like an honest review of it. So long that the complaints are legitimate, I do not mind. Did I overstep the boundaries somewhere? I'm re-reading my post and as far as I can see I only pointed out some errors that I thought if were corrected could improve the writing. If the end goal is improvement, if no one ever tells you you've made a mistake, you'll never improve.

[KATS]

Erebus, you’re old fashioned! Just kidding http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/wink.gif You have NOT “riled” me in any way hun. I certainly don’t expect an apology from you! We just have different views of things. I can be stubborn and opinionated and Lord knows I’ve never apologized for my attitude. Believe me, there are LOTS of people that I disagree with yet I’ve managed to remain friends with these people.

No, I didn’t not read Gabe’s post, but I’m fairly certain I’ve had worse things said about me, to my face and certainly behind my back. (I am a female and like I said I do have strong opinions and I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, so you can imagine some of the things that have been said about me.) Though chivalry is rare these days, I do appreciate it. Though, as you can imagine, not much someone says will phase me. http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/wink.gif

At any rate, I tend to agree with Bing on the critique. Actually, I'd have probably pointed out several more areas that need improvement if I were do give a full critique. However, I seriously doubt the author is still around to read it. But, Bing, please keep in mind that some of the people that submit stories are teenagers and these are their school assignments or first efforts at writing.

[This message has been edited by KATS (edited May 29, 2001).]