FistfulOfSky
May 11th, 2005, 05:20 PM
In the Patches of Grey
Chapter 1
I sit here. A blank thought scatters across my mind. A non-existent idea trickles down into my brain. There are no little slices of wisdom floating around in my head because if there were, I would express them to you. I am alone at this hour. No humans walk the alleys this cold night. Most would never attempt it even on a warm summers evening…only a few on an occasional. Most fear what awaits them in the murky darkness. But I know what awaits them…me…
I lean against a brick wall across from a restaurant that had closed hours before. I peer through its empty windows. I imagine the city people sitting there at lunch hour with their business partners discussing the next person they should sue. I chuckle at their meaningless lives day after day. How often they waste it. If only they realized how precious life truly was. If I had one more day to live as one of them…
I linger near the decrepit wall that had been touched by many hands over the years. I, myself, had placed my hands on it numerous times. The wall had soaked up my tears, my sweat and even my blood. One of my first memories came from this wall. I guess if I thought about it I could connect to any solid object in this city, my first home run as a boy, my first carnival, my first kiss and my first kill… just memories. I could neither change them nor forget them. Some of my more painful memories cling to me like a stain.
A Street light flickers to the right of me. I see a homeless man across the road setting up his cardboard box for the long night ahead of him. Another night of unexplainable murders, drug deals, prostitution, and late night beatings against wives from their drunken husbands. It is a forever-continuing circle of anguish and havoc. But unlike the people who rotate along the circle’s circumference, millions of others will sleep soundly tonight never giving thought to the horrors most will wake up to in the morning. I pity those who will wake up to this destruction but I have more pity for the people who will not wake up at all.
I step out of the alley and make my way towards an old, abandoned warehouse. It had been left empty for years now after its company folded up. I am the only one who walks through it now.
I gracefully move through the building. Crumbled pieces of paper litter the floor, dust collects among its very surface, cobwebs cling to every inch. It had once been an old shoe factory. Now all that lay left is dormant equipment and leftover shoes that were never completed.
I finger the old pieces of machinery. Dirt stains my pale hands. My lifeless blue eyes gaze over this place I call my home. It has been abandoned and so have I. I have been left without life, with out blood or any means of love. All I have left is a hunger that will never ease.
I walk over to a broken window and slide to the cold floor. I put my long, straight black hair into a loose ponytail. I tilt my head to the ground. I take my forefinger and write in the dirt, Maverick. My name stares back at me as if I owe it for the shame I have brought to it. The shame of being a vampire. The shame of draining the blood of the innocent. Some would see immortality and youth as a blessing. I see it as a curse that can never be lifted. Vampirism is the cross I bear. Living forever, ageless means nothing to me if I am to remain alone. All the women I have wooed on warm summer nights and only to drink their sweet nectar. None of them will ever look upon me in compassion. I am a monster. I only can watch from a distance as couples hold each other promising eternal love. A love I will never claim. I am startled from my thoughts by a noise coming from below. I peer out the window into the night. A girl with dark red, long hair shuffles slowly along the dirt path. Her head is bent down towards the ground as if her head is to tilt forever that way in an angle of emotional pain. Compassion flows through my empty veins. I notice that she’s dressed in Goth attire. My Lord. The way styles and stereotypes change. The same way the youth has changed. Disgusting. What I knew of Goth was not this sad excuse for their recreation of it. Goth was great pieces of art and majestic structures of architect. Slowly as time went on it transcended into music, religion, clothes, and now a repulsing stereotype that smarter, more athletic kids prey upon. I never understood the way children teased and taunted each other over meaningless fashions. I guess times hasn’t really changed that much.
Just by watching her and noticing her stance and posture I can already tell she’s a loner, an outcast. Once I had that stance and that distinguished posture. That specific posture screams I am a victim to be teased and ridiculed for my differences. A long lost memory of myself standing alone in the park as the other boys that I went to school with played baseball at a distance. I shake my head and return to the present. Yet I remember that I know the feeling of loneliness all too well. It is clearly visible upon our faces. Her hand fumbles with her stringy hair. She’s perfect. A girl who will not be missed and still with the taste of freshness. I lick my blue-tented lips. Then drift outside to meet my next kill.
I quietly approach the girl. Her eyes, such lovely sea green eyes, drift to mine in a childlike way of hesitance. I can sense her newfound fear. It provokes me. She slowly bites her bottom lip. Almost mauling at it like a wild animal. Her slightly shredded lips curve so perfectly to form her beautiful mouth. The crease in her mouth swells with tiny droplets of blood. I can almost taste it. Something in me stirs and the craving to feed grows. I need her blood now. Right now. I concentrate harder to work my way inside her mind. It should not take too long. She does not have a strong will, yet her defenses are up which could cause delay. She gives a whimper and mumbles unknown words. I can feel her body tense. Her body is petite and frail but carries a stunning beauty. I see within her thoughts images of rejection, scorn from her peers, graffiti covered lockers and hurtful words thrown towards her. But among all her thoughts and memories a dark, shadowy figure hovers over them like a plague she cannot cure. Maybe I can do the very least to rid her of this cancer…
I have always been able to see into the minds of my victims before feeding and during feeding. In fact while feeding upon them, along with their blood you almost capture tiny pieces of your victims, their memories, emotions, and instincts. Therefore vampires basically own their living meals. Some of their thoughts were so hard to witness. Or other times it just made it harder to take their lives. At times when I was almost tempted to walk away and leave their bodies undrained I would tell myself that I was saving them. I was helping them escape their nightmares that this world brought forth.
I give her a sly smile and stare deeper into her green eyes. This is way too easy. She’s mine. I crawl into her mind and bend it at my will. Her eyes become clouded over and she falls into a trance. I place my hands on her shoulders to keep her from collapsing to the ground. Her body slumps into mine. I stand steady against her. I watch her breathing slow. I move her hair out of my way and lean over. My lips are almost to her tender neck but something prevents me and I draw back. The craving suddenly lessens. I find the need for blood drifting away. I wish it were this easy all the times I had ever held an innocent human in my hands. Questions start leaking into my brain. What am I doing? This has never occurred before. In a sense I had always felt remorse and even guilt but it had never prevented me from surviving the only way I could. Feeding off humans was my only option. Many ruthless humans deserved to die any way. When I had first become a vampire I had chosen to go after those who caused pain to others but there are not enough evil mortals in this world to sustain my hunger. My eyes scan her body from top to bottom. She’s so beautiful. I stare back into her distant face. I pull her body into my arms and carry her towards the dark yet welcoming factory, which will be her shelter tonight. She is almost weightless. Her body almost floats in my arms. This girl is not skin and bone but her angelic features make her appear this way or maybe it’s the simple fact she looks so hollow and fragile. A simple vision of me kissing away her tears materializes into my mind. I can see her glassy eyes looking up at me so clearly. My hand is placed on her tender cheek. I move closer to her until my mouth grazes on her lips…
Reality comes back into view when I hear her give a silent moan. I wonder what she’s dreaming. Maybe she’s dreaming of fields filled with flowers where she can run to and escape the cruelties of this world. A distant place she could hide in. or maybe those were only my dreams. I had longed to disappear into a world with no shadows to hover over me. And now as I am looking down on her I hope that in some way she had walked in that world beside me without me ever knowing.
NOTE: this is ONLY a small portion of my chapter. it won't all fit. lol. thank u!
Chapter 1
I sit here. A blank thought scatters across my mind. A non-existent idea trickles down into my brain. There are no little slices of wisdom floating around in my head because if there were, I would express them to you. I am alone at this hour. No humans walk the alleys this cold night. Most would never attempt it even on a warm summers evening…only a few on an occasional. Most fear what awaits them in the murky darkness. But I know what awaits them…me…
I lean against a brick wall across from a restaurant that had closed hours before. I peer through its empty windows. I imagine the city people sitting there at lunch hour with their business partners discussing the next person they should sue. I chuckle at their meaningless lives day after day. How often they waste it. If only they realized how precious life truly was. If I had one more day to live as one of them…
I linger near the decrepit wall that had been touched by many hands over the years. I, myself, had placed my hands on it numerous times. The wall had soaked up my tears, my sweat and even my blood. One of my first memories came from this wall. I guess if I thought about it I could connect to any solid object in this city, my first home run as a boy, my first carnival, my first kiss and my first kill… just memories. I could neither change them nor forget them. Some of my more painful memories cling to me like a stain.
A Street light flickers to the right of me. I see a homeless man across the road setting up his cardboard box for the long night ahead of him. Another night of unexplainable murders, drug deals, prostitution, and late night beatings against wives from their drunken husbands. It is a forever-continuing circle of anguish and havoc. But unlike the people who rotate along the circle’s circumference, millions of others will sleep soundly tonight never giving thought to the horrors most will wake up to in the morning. I pity those who will wake up to this destruction but I have more pity for the people who will not wake up at all.
I step out of the alley and make my way towards an old, abandoned warehouse. It had been left empty for years now after its company folded up. I am the only one who walks through it now.
I gracefully move through the building. Crumbled pieces of paper litter the floor, dust collects among its very surface, cobwebs cling to every inch. It had once been an old shoe factory. Now all that lay left is dormant equipment and leftover shoes that were never completed.
I finger the old pieces of machinery. Dirt stains my pale hands. My lifeless blue eyes gaze over this place I call my home. It has been abandoned and so have I. I have been left without life, with out blood or any means of love. All I have left is a hunger that will never ease.
I walk over to a broken window and slide to the cold floor. I put my long, straight black hair into a loose ponytail. I tilt my head to the ground. I take my forefinger and write in the dirt, Maverick. My name stares back at me as if I owe it for the shame I have brought to it. The shame of being a vampire. The shame of draining the blood of the innocent. Some would see immortality and youth as a blessing. I see it as a curse that can never be lifted. Vampirism is the cross I bear. Living forever, ageless means nothing to me if I am to remain alone. All the women I have wooed on warm summer nights and only to drink their sweet nectar. None of them will ever look upon me in compassion. I am a monster. I only can watch from a distance as couples hold each other promising eternal love. A love I will never claim. I am startled from my thoughts by a noise coming from below. I peer out the window into the night. A girl with dark red, long hair shuffles slowly along the dirt path. Her head is bent down towards the ground as if her head is to tilt forever that way in an angle of emotional pain. Compassion flows through my empty veins. I notice that she’s dressed in Goth attire. My Lord. The way styles and stereotypes change. The same way the youth has changed. Disgusting. What I knew of Goth was not this sad excuse for their recreation of it. Goth was great pieces of art and majestic structures of architect. Slowly as time went on it transcended into music, religion, clothes, and now a repulsing stereotype that smarter, more athletic kids prey upon. I never understood the way children teased and taunted each other over meaningless fashions. I guess times hasn’t really changed that much.
Just by watching her and noticing her stance and posture I can already tell she’s a loner, an outcast. Once I had that stance and that distinguished posture. That specific posture screams I am a victim to be teased and ridiculed for my differences. A long lost memory of myself standing alone in the park as the other boys that I went to school with played baseball at a distance. I shake my head and return to the present. Yet I remember that I know the feeling of loneliness all too well. It is clearly visible upon our faces. Her hand fumbles with her stringy hair. She’s perfect. A girl who will not be missed and still with the taste of freshness. I lick my blue-tented lips. Then drift outside to meet my next kill.
I quietly approach the girl. Her eyes, such lovely sea green eyes, drift to mine in a childlike way of hesitance. I can sense her newfound fear. It provokes me. She slowly bites her bottom lip. Almost mauling at it like a wild animal. Her slightly shredded lips curve so perfectly to form her beautiful mouth. The crease in her mouth swells with tiny droplets of blood. I can almost taste it. Something in me stirs and the craving to feed grows. I need her blood now. Right now. I concentrate harder to work my way inside her mind. It should not take too long. She does not have a strong will, yet her defenses are up which could cause delay. She gives a whimper and mumbles unknown words. I can feel her body tense. Her body is petite and frail but carries a stunning beauty. I see within her thoughts images of rejection, scorn from her peers, graffiti covered lockers and hurtful words thrown towards her. But among all her thoughts and memories a dark, shadowy figure hovers over them like a plague she cannot cure. Maybe I can do the very least to rid her of this cancer…
I have always been able to see into the minds of my victims before feeding and during feeding. In fact while feeding upon them, along with their blood you almost capture tiny pieces of your victims, their memories, emotions, and instincts. Therefore vampires basically own their living meals. Some of their thoughts were so hard to witness. Or other times it just made it harder to take their lives. At times when I was almost tempted to walk away and leave their bodies undrained I would tell myself that I was saving them. I was helping them escape their nightmares that this world brought forth.
I give her a sly smile and stare deeper into her green eyes. This is way too easy. She’s mine. I crawl into her mind and bend it at my will. Her eyes become clouded over and she falls into a trance. I place my hands on her shoulders to keep her from collapsing to the ground. Her body slumps into mine. I stand steady against her. I watch her breathing slow. I move her hair out of my way and lean over. My lips are almost to her tender neck but something prevents me and I draw back. The craving suddenly lessens. I find the need for blood drifting away. I wish it were this easy all the times I had ever held an innocent human in my hands. Questions start leaking into my brain. What am I doing? This has never occurred before. In a sense I had always felt remorse and even guilt but it had never prevented me from surviving the only way I could. Feeding off humans was my only option. Many ruthless humans deserved to die any way. When I had first become a vampire I had chosen to go after those who caused pain to others but there are not enough evil mortals in this world to sustain my hunger. My eyes scan her body from top to bottom. She’s so beautiful. I stare back into her distant face. I pull her body into my arms and carry her towards the dark yet welcoming factory, which will be her shelter tonight. She is almost weightless. Her body almost floats in my arms. This girl is not skin and bone but her angelic features make her appear this way or maybe it’s the simple fact she looks so hollow and fragile. A simple vision of me kissing away her tears materializes into my mind. I can see her glassy eyes looking up at me so clearly. My hand is placed on her tender cheek. I move closer to her until my mouth grazes on her lips…
Reality comes back into view when I hear her give a silent moan. I wonder what she’s dreaming. Maybe she’s dreaming of fields filled with flowers where she can run to and escape the cruelties of this world. A distant place she could hide in. or maybe those were only my dreams. I had longed to disappear into a world with no shadows to hover over me. And now as I am looking down on her I hope that in some way she had walked in that world beside me without me ever knowing.
NOTE: this is ONLY a small portion of my chapter. it won't all fit. lol. thank u!