Megris Vernin
June 18th, 2005, 10:04 AM
was in a room. A white room. I dont mean a room that is colored white, but full of white light. There was no color...nothing. I saw no shades of red, blue, or green. Was I color blind. Was I dreaming. What was this place. I dont remember getting here. Wait...I dont remembering being anywhere. Where was I...What was happening to me. I searched my mind for answers to questions that would not come. Who was I. I didn't know...My past, my history. I knew nothing. It was as if...I was just born. I was just there...I searched deeper into my mind and found something. It was only a couple of seconds long, but it was an image. I tried to see what it was and screamed.
Blood! Blood! Everywhere. Death...No!!!!...The fires...The death....the fire....Noooo!!!!!....I can see a dead face....No.....The hatred and evil. My mind reeled from the dark and sinister memory. I was remmembering something terrible. I could not go back through it, I could not even remember what I had seen. but it was terrible. Something dark...something horrible. I remembered bodies...lots of bodies....
As I fought to regain my composure, I once again took notice of the room around me. It was non-descript. There was nothing there. Only white...no chaires....no corners....no walls....only white. I struggled to comprehend what this meant. Was I insane....Was my mind on the fritz. How could any place in the world look like this. It was impossible. It wasn't natural. The I looked down...What I saw was an even greator shock...
My body was all white...Just like the walls...I could barely even see the faint outline of my moving arms. I was draped in the same material that the walls around me were made of. I pulled at the white.....stuff... covering my arm. With massive effort and use of my teeth I was able to pull it off. I saw my skin, or what at least it was. My skin was tan...I dont know how I knew it. The color was ....tan.... I understood it, yet the knowledge came unbidden into mind. I don't know how I knew it, but I did.
I looked once again around the room. I began to walk towards a wall?and kept walking. I never came any closer, or any farther away for that matter. It was as if I was thousands of miles away. For a few more minutes I vainly tried touch it, to feel something solid. Yet I never came closer. I was trapped in....some kind of void...I was here and yet...not here...
For the first time in my short life I felt fear, and it was horrible. My palms were sweating...my heart was beating. I could feel my breath increase, my blood flow strengthen. I felt rage and anger boil up through me. Adrenaline came through my veins, filling me with a desire to to something. I looked at my arm and saw the tan skin. Somehow I knew if I punctured it, something red would come out. A red thing..."blood" said something from the back of my mind. I took my arm and slammed it against the white floor..
A voice, disconnected and vague but still there, called out to me. "Stop it said." I thought maybe it was my own mind, maybe it was some...distant corner of me that desired my self preservation. But...no..it was real. I continued to vatter my hand again the floor, peeling off more of the white paint and showing the tender pink skin underneath. "Stop, please," the voice said, with an added sense of urgency.
This time I was able to pinpoint the position of the voice. It came from above me. Barely noticable to the casual observer, I spotted a set of holes in the ceiling. My mind began to race with possibilities. "Maybe I was not mad," I thought. Could it be possible I had....My mind searched, but could not find the suitable word. "Amnesia," said the hidden knowledge in my mind." You have amnesia. I knew it. That word...it seemed to fit....
A red light was lt in the speaker box, as if it was waiting for a response. Being unknowledgeable of to say, I remained silent. Too many unanswered questsions raced through myt mind. They obscured whatever clear thoughts I might have, so intent was I on answering them. So I consented to stop hurting myself and stare at the box. I stared at the six holes in the ceiling. For a while I did nothing but watch. This speaker box was the only sensry input since I had become...aware.
If it did not answer, I would desecend back into darkness. My mind would fade into oblivion, leaving only an empty shell behind. In a soft and muffled tone, the speaker box spoke again. It was done in a way that made me wonder if its speaker had intended me to here it. I could only catch glimpses of the conversation, but I heard enough to shock my mind more than anything else I had observed in this strange white world.
"..He is aw.re? ....could he know ..nything? What do ... mean he co..ld have deve.... some basi. ...ory... That is....ossible. How ..ould he....of do... at .e is the ...ist test ...ject to ...en not die. It is ... possible for him to ....member ...thing. His .ind... ould ....be a clean ..... he should have no ...oughts..... or ires..... I will...invest....is."
I could barely hear the conversation, but my mind filled in the blanks. Whoever was holding me here, had ....done something to me. I was not...as I was. They expected me to be mindless, to be a useless drone. But I would never submit to that. With my few memories in shambles, I would never again submit to the darkness. I would rather die then give up who I was...or at least whatI had learned so far. My body tensed and I felt true hatred for the first time. I prepared to fight, most likely to my death.
Almost as if in response to my heightened agression, a hole in the wall appeared. It is not as if a door just opened...it just appeared. The outline of a 3 by 8 hole appeared in the wall. Then suddenly...there was an opening. Bright light streamed through, becoming ever more brillant by the reflective quality of the walls. Yet beneath this masive ray of light, the outline of a figure could be seen. It wasn't tall, or particularly large.
The figure stepped forward and made an odd gesture with his hand. As if in respons,e the hole disappeared, leaving not even so much as a line or mark from where it had come. The light suddenly vanished and I got a good look at the person in front of me. He was about 5 feet tall and 5 inches. The man was dressed in, in..."The garb of a scientist," my inner voice whispered. Yes, the garb of a a 'scientist'. How did I know that word. It was just one more mysery upon all others that I had to solve.
The scientist had hair that was...brown. He was old perhaps...50? His face and hands were wrinkled and seemed to sag against him. Yet the man's face and demeanor held an inner strength that was far greater than his body's. I could feel an aura of passion and power eminent from him. The scientist seemed shocked to have me watch him so intently. Apparently he was not expecting anything such as that from me.
"Speak dog," the scientist said. I reconized his voice from over the radio. I noticed his tone and remembered what he had said previously. Obviosuly he did not think much of me. Yet in a way I did not feel disrespected. I had just become aware, after all. I stood up straight and spoke right back to him.
"Dont call me that. I dont appreciate being treated in such a manner." The scientist seemed surprised, not by my words as much as my ability to speak at all. The man's aura of dignity and pride temporarily faultered. Yet quickly a smug expression crossed his face.
"You can speak can you. Don't worry, you want have much to say in a while. You are an obvious failre and shall be done away with." The man's words aggraveted me with their cruelty and obvious assumption of my submission. I would never give up. I would not allow myself to be silenced, either by this man or by any other. A strange source of power gre up in me. I began to tap into reserves of stregth and mental power that I never knew I possessed.
The air around me began to thicken and swirl. It became charged with energy, power that was not normal or natural. The scientist tried to brush of this change in the atmosphere as some accident with the air ventilation system. Yet his blissgul ignorance became shattered when he saw the look of concetration on my face. I felt a desire, a pasion to live. Despite my relatively short life, I ...could not give up. Then I heard some strange words..."He can't be using those genes". The activator D.N.A. has not been used yet. These words came not from me, but from elsewhere. Then I realized the stark truth, they were coming from the scientist!
Blood! Blood! Everywhere. Death...No!!!!...The fires...The death....the fire....Noooo!!!!!....I can see a dead face....No.....The hatred and evil. My mind reeled from the dark and sinister memory. I was remmembering something terrible. I could not go back through it, I could not even remember what I had seen. but it was terrible. Something dark...something horrible. I remembered bodies...lots of bodies....
As I fought to regain my composure, I once again took notice of the room around me. It was non-descript. There was nothing there. Only white...no chaires....no corners....no walls....only white. I struggled to comprehend what this meant. Was I insane....Was my mind on the fritz. How could any place in the world look like this. It was impossible. It wasn't natural. The I looked down...What I saw was an even greator shock...
My body was all white...Just like the walls...I could barely even see the faint outline of my moving arms. I was draped in the same material that the walls around me were made of. I pulled at the white.....stuff... covering my arm. With massive effort and use of my teeth I was able to pull it off. I saw my skin, or what at least it was. My skin was tan...I dont know how I knew it. The color was ....tan.... I understood it, yet the knowledge came unbidden into mind. I don't know how I knew it, but I did.
I looked once again around the room. I began to walk towards a wall?and kept walking. I never came any closer, or any farther away for that matter. It was as if I was thousands of miles away. For a few more minutes I vainly tried touch it, to feel something solid. Yet I never came closer. I was trapped in....some kind of void...I was here and yet...not here...
For the first time in my short life I felt fear, and it was horrible. My palms were sweating...my heart was beating. I could feel my breath increase, my blood flow strengthen. I felt rage and anger boil up through me. Adrenaline came through my veins, filling me with a desire to to something. I looked at my arm and saw the tan skin. Somehow I knew if I punctured it, something red would come out. A red thing..."blood" said something from the back of my mind. I took my arm and slammed it against the white floor..
A voice, disconnected and vague but still there, called out to me. "Stop it said." I thought maybe it was my own mind, maybe it was some...distant corner of me that desired my self preservation. But...no..it was real. I continued to vatter my hand again the floor, peeling off more of the white paint and showing the tender pink skin underneath. "Stop, please," the voice said, with an added sense of urgency.
This time I was able to pinpoint the position of the voice. It came from above me. Barely noticable to the casual observer, I spotted a set of holes in the ceiling. My mind began to race with possibilities. "Maybe I was not mad," I thought. Could it be possible I had....My mind searched, but could not find the suitable word. "Amnesia," said the hidden knowledge in my mind." You have amnesia. I knew it. That word...it seemed to fit....
A red light was lt in the speaker box, as if it was waiting for a response. Being unknowledgeable of to say, I remained silent. Too many unanswered questsions raced through myt mind. They obscured whatever clear thoughts I might have, so intent was I on answering them. So I consented to stop hurting myself and stare at the box. I stared at the six holes in the ceiling. For a while I did nothing but watch. This speaker box was the only sensry input since I had become...aware.
If it did not answer, I would desecend back into darkness. My mind would fade into oblivion, leaving only an empty shell behind. In a soft and muffled tone, the speaker box spoke again. It was done in a way that made me wonder if its speaker had intended me to here it. I could only catch glimpses of the conversation, but I heard enough to shock my mind more than anything else I had observed in this strange white world.
"..He is aw.re? ....could he know ..nything? What do ... mean he co..ld have deve.... some basi. ...ory... That is....ossible. How ..ould he....of do... at .e is the ...ist test ...ject to ...en not die. It is ... possible for him to ....member ...thing. His .ind... ould ....be a clean ..... he should have no ...oughts..... or ires..... I will...invest....is."
I could barely hear the conversation, but my mind filled in the blanks. Whoever was holding me here, had ....done something to me. I was not...as I was. They expected me to be mindless, to be a useless drone. But I would never submit to that. With my few memories in shambles, I would never again submit to the darkness. I would rather die then give up who I was...or at least whatI had learned so far. My body tensed and I felt true hatred for the first time. I prepared to fight, most likely to my death.
Almost as if in response to my heightened agression, a hole in the wall appeared. It is not as if a door just opened...it just appeared. The outline of a 3 by 8 hole appeared in the wall. Then suddenly...there was an opening. Bright light streamed through, becoming ever more brillant by the reflective quality of the walls. Yet beneath this masive ray of light, the outline of a figure could be seen. It wasn't tall, or particularly large.
The figure stepped forward and made an odd gesture with his hand. As if in respons,e the hole disappeared, leaving not even so much as a line or mark from where it had come. The light suddenly vanished and I got a good look at the person in front of me. He was about 5 feet tall and 5 inches. The man was dressed in, in..."The garb of a scientist," my inner voice whispered. Yes, the garb of a a 'scientist'. How did I know that word. It was just one more mysery upon all others that I had to solve.
The scientist had hair that was...brown. He was old perhaps...50? His face and hands were wrinkled and seemed to sag against him. Yet the man's face and demeanor held an inner strength that was far greater than his body's. I could feel an aura of passion and power eminent from him. The scientist seemed shocked to have me watch him so intently. Apparently he was not expecting anything such as that from me.
"Speak dog," the scientist said. I reconized his voice from over the radio. I noticed his tone and remembered what he had said previously. Obviosuly he did not think much of me. Yet in a way I did not feel disrespected. I had just become aware, after all. I stood up straight and spoke right back to him.
"Dont call me that. I dont appreciate being treated in such a manner." The scientist seemed surprised, not by my words as much as my ability to speak at all. The man's aura of dignity and pride temporarily faultered. Yet quickly a smug expression crossed his face.
"You can speak can you. Don't worry, you want have much to say in a while. You are an obvious failre and shall be done away with." The man's words aggraveted me with their cruelty and obvious assumption of my submission. I would never give up. I would not allow myself to be silenced, either by this man or by any other. A strange source of power gre up in me. I began to tap into reserves of stregth and mental power that I never knew I possessed.
The air around me began to thicken and swirl. It became charged with energy, power that was not normal or natural. The scientist tried to brush of this change in the atmosphere as some accident with the air ventilation system. Yet his blissgul ignorance became shattered when he saw the look of concetration on my face. I felt a desire, a pasion to live. Despite my relatively short life, I ...could not give up. Then I heard some strange words..."He can't be using those genes". The activator D.N.A. has not been used yet. These words came not from me, but from elsewhere. Then I realized the stark truth, they were coming from the scientist!