critque chapter two of Tierra nova please

[Leo]

hi folks i have recently posted a new story chapter two of tierra nova. It has lots of action but i am not done it yet. But i would love it if you guys could critque it tell me if i need to slow down do some counter measures. please and thank you :)

[TheEarCollector]

Could you post the link maybe? Thanks

[Ouroboros]

There's an old video game and SF novel by David Drake and Ben Ohlander called 'Terra Nova'.

No connection, I take it?

[Leo]

There's an old video game and SF novel by David Drake and Ben Ohlander called 'Terra Nova'.

No connection, I take it?

sorrry i dont think so, this is a fresh idea.

but here is a the link just os you guys can take a lookhttp://www.sffworld.com/community/story/712p0.html (http://http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/712p0.html)