View Full Version : Short story
January 21st, 2002, 03:06 AM
I finally got around to posting another short story, called "Bankruptcy"-
this one is quite different from the last one entitled "Grey Morning". I suppose since the first one got decent ratings, that could be a bad thing http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/wink.gif.
Anyway, it's on the front page of hte site right now and should be listed under my name, W.A. Straub, Jr. as well. Have at it...any feedback is, as always, welcome.
[This message has been edited by wastra (edited January 21, 2002).]
January 21st, 2002, 11:22 AM
I thought that you did a good job setting up a suspensful ending. *SPOILER* Is it a monster, an occultist, or just a weird ass old person to offer tea? http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/smile.gif
January 21st, 2002, 02:23 PM
The luxury of a short piece like that is that the author doesn't really HAVE to explain everything...
If it ever becomes a novel, I'll go further in depth!
I was thinking of an occult setting at the time, but it's left to the reader to decide whether or not it's the occultist or something they created/summoned.
-"The heart has reasons which reason knows not of."
January 23rd, 2002, 11:49 AM
Wow! Very good story. I agree with Old_Wolf, the build-up was really supreme. And you descriped the emotions of the main character very well right from the start. It was easy to empathize with him.
But the ending..., well, I haven't quite decided if I should feel disapointed about the abrupt way you eneded it, or if I should be glad that you left the final revelation up to my own mind.
January 24th, 2002, 09:13 PM
Most of the posts here are right on the head so I won't repeat 'em. http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/smile.gif
Let me just emphasize that you do characters pretty well, what with the insertion of little details. Reminds me a bit of Stephen King.
The ending is also a bit abrupt but I can see your point in doing so. Leave 'em hanging, eh? Mebbe a little adjustments and that'll fix it.
Also, I can see your inspirations of Lovecraft in the build-up of suspense. Of course, I kinda expected the twists since I read the posts here.
Still, all in all, a good read. Keep on writing! http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/smile.gif
January 25th, 2002, 06:00 AM
You know, that's not the first time I've heard that about King/Lovecraft.
The irony here is that the only Stephen King book I've read was "The Talisman," that he co-wrote with Peter Straub (who shares my last name, btw). I must admit, I've seen a few movies/TV movies based on books he wrote. I've never picked up a novel by Lovecraft at all. Apparently, I need to do so...
The story "Bankruptcy" is a short story that I wrote about a year ago based on an idea for a novel, which I've since begun (I know, that makes 2 in the works). So I really don't want to do much to the ending of the short story for fear of spoiling the novel.
[This message has been edited by wastra (edited January 25, 2002).]
[This message has been edited by wastra (edited February 06, 2002).]
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