[Tari]

I've always been told [by teachers] that planning is essential to a good story :rolleyes: but hey what do they know :D
Yodee i usually argue whether or not that person has writen a story or had anything published personally coz half the time the answer is no. (or they've atempted publication and not succeeded.)

Good luck...
Thnx Becks. i think my exam went okay. i'll let you know how it went when i get the results.

Ill post a link to my story.........
can't wait to read your story, Becks . . . . .or what you have anywayz. Unfortunately my novella has come to a stand still bcoz skool and rehearsals are going crazy again. so hopefully i'll get time on da wkend to do some more.

wher u from Becks? i agree though time zones are so weird.

anywayz must be off to do homework now it's beginning to charge towards me with pointy spears aimed at uncomfortable positions. . . . . .ignore my wild imagination.

oh before i go i want to post a poem i wrote. Can you tell me what you think it's about? and possibly any feed back would be great. cheers pplz.

**waves goodbye**

? ? [insert title] ? ?

You lay there, daring me to open you.
Would I dare disrupt the power held within?
I would. I did.
“I accept your dare” I say.
My hands grab at your protective black coat, tearing it open.
The black coat flops easily down, resting on the grass beside you.
But you are empty. No power within. No beauty do you with hold.
Instead you place before me another dare.
A challenge.
I hesitate to pick up my pen.
You tease. You play. You taunt.
You will bring about your own end.
Ink tears open your heart,
My pen graffiti’s your soul.
You ravish the pain.
Embracing it as it destroys your being.

STOP!

The pain with draws to it’s master
You heave a gratified sigh of relief
As you ease your protective black coat back on.
And there you lay.
Waiting. Alone.
For you are defeated ever more.


~ Tari

P.s. i just realised my posts r extremely long . . . oh well.

[Gemini]

i think my exam went okay. i'll let you know how it went when i get the results.



? ? [insert title] ? ?

You lay there, daring me to open you.
Would I dare disrupt the power held within?
I would. I did.
“I accept your dare” I say.
My hands grab at your protective black coat, tearing it open.
The black coat flops easily down, resting on the grass beside you.
But you are empty. No power within. No beauty do you with hold.
Instead you place before me another dare.
A challenge.
I hesitate to pick up my pen.
You tease. You play. You taunt.
You will bring about your own end.
Ink tears open your heart,
My pen graffiti’s your soul.
You ravish the pain.
Embracing it as it destroys your being.

STOP!

The pain with draws to it’s master
You heave a gratified sigh of relief
As you ease your protective black coat back on.
And there you lay.
Waiting. Alone.
For you are defeated ever more.
That is such a beautiful poem Tari, it's excellent, very raw :rolleyes: the only part i would question would be the "I accept your dare" line, it feels a bit irksome IMO.

Also, hope you did well in your exam as well :D.

I can't believe QCS is over with. It's strange b/c it's the point you've been working towards for the last twelve years and now, it's gone. Today, as i was doing the last paper, it didn't feel real, as though it wasn't the real test. hmmm, that strange feeling has persited the whole afternoon, i'm feeling rather melancholy :rolleyes:

[Tari]

That is such a beautiful poem Tari, it's excellent, very raw :rolleyes: the only part i would question would be the "I accept your dare" line, it feels a bit irksome IMO.

Also, hope you did well in your exam as well :D.

I can't believe QCS is over with. It's strange b/c it's the point you've been working towards for the last twelve years and now, it's gone. Today, as i was doing the last paper, it didn't feel real, as though it wasn't the real test. hmmm, that strange feeling has persited the whole afternoon, i'm feeling rather melancholy :rolleyes:

Thankx Gem. It was supposed to be an "Ode to" but it kind of went evil on me and i couldn't stop it. what did u think it was about?

lol. i hope my last paper feels like that nxt yr. :D **hugs** Gem u hav finished skool!!!!!!! :eek: :D

~ Tari

[owleye]

i liked ur poem tari..........

[yodee]

Brilliant Poem Tari. Is it ambiguous?
AND good luck with all your exams :D , I know exactly how you feel having to do around 20 exams day after day. :rolleyes:

[Bridie]

ooo great poem tari

[Gemini]

OMG OMG OMG OMG! LOST JUST FINISHED! :eek: Ah! How am i going to survive until the February? The ending! ahhh crazy :eek:

anyways... :D

I agree with Yodee, it's very ambiguous :D there are a couple of things it could be about, i suppose it's open to interpretation (as all good poems are :D) it allows you to find something personal within it.

Actualy, i wish i had finished school, i've still got a couple of weeks to go :D, but i don't thikn i'll be showing up half the time... naughty me :D

[Tari]

Actualy, i wish i had finished school, i've still got a couple of weeks to go :D, but i don't thikn i'll be showing up half the time... naughty me :D

tut tut Gem naughty girl only i can wag skool and get away with it. :D actually nxt thursday my friend & i r goin shopin instead of to da athletics carnival. . . . . we need accesory for da Dinner Dance nxt wk. perfectly reasonable if u ask me. *nods*

Now the long wait Gem . . . . . Oh well we'll be here to keep you company. :D

Brilliant Poem Tari. Is it ambiguous?

thanx Yodee (and all others who replied) i wrote it at a workshop last wk we had with Catherin Bateson (excellent poet. she can get any1 to write. ask Alsion she knows her.) anywayz. if you were wondering it was actually entitled "Blank Book" but we've been using it at skool to test pplz ways of thinking, like my intro calc teacher had no idea coz she thinks logically but my SE teacher from last yr (crazt lady. evil too) anywayz ahe got it coz she's slightly MAD like us!

if any1 is interested im actually posting pieces of my stoy in teh Writing forum. i would post a link but i havent quite got the hang of that yet.

~ Tari

[Becks]

Yodee i usually argue whether or not that person has writen a story or had anything published personally coz half the time the answer is no. (or they've atempted publication and not succeeded.)


Thnx Becks. i think my exam went okay. i'll let you know how it went when i get the results.

Youre welcome, bet youll have done great...


can't wait to read your story, Becks . . . . .or what you have anywayz. Unfortunately my novella has come to a stand still bcoz skool and rehearsals are going crazy again. so hopefully i'll get time on da wkend to do some more.
heres the link.....but so far Ive only got the skeleton....http://pub24.bravenet.com/forum/2055479780/show/464921



wher u from Becks? i agree though time zones are so weird.

Im from lovely Sunny England....which at the minute isnt looking too sunny, actually the complete oposite!!!



? ? [insert title] ? ?

You lay there, daring me to open you.
Would I dare disrupt the power held within?
I would. I did.
“I accept your dare” I say.
My hands grab at your protective black coat, tearing it open.
The black coat flops easily down, resting on the grass beside you.
But you are empty. No power within. No beauty do you with hold.
Instead you place before me another dare.
A challenge.
I hesitate to pick up my pen.
You tease. You play. You taunt.
You will bring about your own end.
Ink tears open your heart,
My pen graffiti’s your soul.
You ravish the pain.
Embracing it as it destroys your being.

STOP!

The pain with draws to it’s master
You heave a gratified sigh of relief
As you ease your protective black coat back on.
And there you lay.
Waiting. Alone.
For you are defeated ever more.


~ Tari

P.s. i just realised my posts r extremely long . . . oh well.

Cool I like it......yea, Tari your posts are veerrrrrrrry long, the opposite of mine...

[owleye]

becks ur story is really good!