View Full Version : Critique on my posted pages?

Home - Discussion Forums - News - Reviews - Interviews

New reviews, interviews and news

New in the Discussion Forum

September 5th, 2005, 07:50 PM
I just posted some pages on the community site. Which I think is a great addition to SFFWorld as well btw. It at least gives a way for people to get out there and be read, whether good or bad. Any suggestions, comments, and criticism's would be much appreciated. Here is the link- Pages (http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/838p0.html)

September 6th, 2005, 01:10 AM
It's an interesting start. I think it's a bit much you send one man to face unknown odds and none of the others complain - but maybe that's just me.

I'd suggest editing the paragraph that describes the young warrior a bit and let his actions show himself, rather than you telling us about them.

September 6th, 2005, 02:04 AM
Went to have a look and the link does not work, copied and pasted it as well so assume you have taken the story down...

Edited to add. You can post on the community site. Use the "new story" tag on the right of your user page, there is also one for Poems and Blogs... the story only gets submitted to the comp if you use the link in the main text.

September 6th, 2005, 02:04 AM
Omg I was seriously confused. That was the first few pages of the book I'm writing and I just realized that was a short story contest I posted it in, LoL. My girlfriend just sat down here and noticed that, I deleted it, LoL. I just wanted feedback on the actual writing, grammar, etc, not to enter it in to be possibly published.
Where can i post stuff without entering it in that contest? Without having to paste long things here?

edit- You get back to polishing your own masterpeice Holbrook, nothing to see here ;) . I will repost some pages in a bit then. That was actually how I had initially understood it, but then my gf had baffled and confused me, hehe. After I erased the pages I had gone back and checked the link to the 'other' part and realized even if it was being submitted, the contest was over anyways. All that time spent putting spaces between the paragraphs..what a waste.