View Full Version : Critique: Demons of Irony Prt. I
September 29th, 2005, 10:52 AM
It's a short story I've been working on. My interest in it, however, has been failing a bit. I need to finish it before my juice runs out, you know?
Tell me what you think about it! This is the first swing I've had at the horror genre, and I would gladly appreciate any feedback as to whether it was a hit or miss. :D
Here's the link:
Demons of Irony Prt. I (http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/901p0.html)
October 6th, 2005, 04:50 PM
Erm.... ANY feedback would be helpful. Is it too long for one to try and trudge through?
October 7th, 2005, 05:54 PM
Ten pages and it's a trip out and back and still no idea why the person telling me this story's doing in an asylum.
Please tell me there's more.
October 8th, 2005, 03:35 PM
First of all, I'm an adj. junky, so I like your style of writing. However it's clear the ideas come to you as you write, so it's a bit disoriented. That might be easy to reslove, if you re-arrange some of the story. Maybe have the character plead for the reader to here him out first, that he's not insane and that his story is true. That might up the drama and be a good hook. I am not insane as the first sentence would certainly catch my attention as a reader. ;)
October 15th, 2005, 06:14 PM
Thank you very much, and yes there is more to it. It's actually a twisting story I came up with as a kid (kind of like a twilight zone thing), but didn't want to write until I really knew how. Well, I'm still a rookie, but hopefully you guys will like the next bit. I'll plug it in in less than a month. Again, thanks! :rolleyes:
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